my cousin, in his late 30s, just passed away about three hours ago. diagnosed with lung cancer about two weeks ago. biopsy was done after a thoracotomy. thoracotomy was done to get rid of hardened pus from his lungs due to pneumonia, so the doctor said. obviously, it was not that simple.

never touched a cigarette in his lifetime. vegetarian for years. sometimes i stupidly think that makes things easier. it doesn’t. it just makes people sad. but that’s not what saddens me.

what saddens me the most are the kids: two boys and a girl, 7, 5, and 3 years old.

then there’s his wife.

how does one adjust to a sudden loss such as this? you wake up seeing a person’s face for years, seeing him play with the kids, and seeing your kids give out a hearty laugh because of what he does. or in this case, things he did. then just like that, he’s gone. i mean, things like these happen. i see it often enough, it almost seem ordinary. but still, it saddens me.

then….there’s music in the living room.

oblivious to the sad, moving melody of the song that their dad is playing in the piano, my two boys are jumping around, laughing. usually, their laughters lift my spirit. today, it broke my heart.