the saga continues
this is not going to be pretty, but if you are still interested, go ahead, bore yourself and read my two previous posts, if you haven’t yet. just so you get to know the background.
yeah, i’m still talking about P.
she is like a headache that grows larger than life, like fever, that refuses to subside. yes, she is still in our unit.
yesterday, she finally got a hold of our nurse manager (NM). the AM nurse told me that our NM talked to her for two hours! yes, two hours!
after two hours of what i assume was a two way communication (read: P talked, NM listened), NM came up with a full page, single spaced guidelines on caring for P. there was a strict instruction, that at the beginning of the shift, that the nurse assigned to P, needs to read the whole page, very carefully. it was placed in front of P’s chart. why i have the feeling i will end up memorizing the guidelines, is not really clear to me.
let me share with you some of the guidelines, just in case someone out there ends up to be a nurse manager, and you encounter patients like P.
1. make sure you check P regularly to find out if she needs anything. (i say: by regularly, you mean more frequent than every 5-10 minutes?)
2. make sure that when you shampoo P’s hair, air dry it. ( i say: why stop there, can’t the unit afford a blow dryer? or a hairstylist at least? geez.)
3. P wants chocolate ice cream to take with her medicine, so make sure to order it before the nutritional services close. (i say: why not get a personal refrigerator from central service and fill it up with ice cream of different flavors? are we that insensitive to just assume she will like chocolate for the rest of her stay?)
4. when P’s phone rings, let her know that you can only hold the phone for 10 minutes at a time, but that you will be happy to do it again when you are not busy with your other patients. ( i say: how inhuman is that? don’t we know it is therapeutic for her to talk to her family for hours? after all, 10 minutes is such a short time for them to come up with ideas on how to sue the hospital)
5. etc etc etc etc.
i am appalled at the obvious “heartlessness” of our NM. i mean i expect her to be caring, compassionate, and understanding. i am shocked at her utter “lack” of concern.
not that i ever had a dream to be a nurse manager, but if i were one, i will do everything within my power to make P’s stay in our unit, one that she will always remember.
for starters, i will not give her a roomate, i care about her privacy. i understand it is important that other patients hear her when she tortures the nurses, but i believe her privacy gives her the chance to do whatever she wants, anytime.
i will assign two nurses to care for her. yeah, two every shift. i am a great believer in anticipating patient’s needs. i want to make sure a nurse is always there. and by always, i mean 24/7. by her bedside.
i will contact a chef to make sure P gets to eat anything she feels delicious at any time, any day.
a harstylist is out of the question. i will never let P’s self esteem suffer if she has a bad hair day. that would be unthinkable. she will definitely get her own stylist.
and in my break, i will arrange a vacation to europe, ready for the time when P is discharged. i am well aware of the importance of relaxation, and i will not deprive any of my patients the benefits of an expensive european tour. of course, she can take her sisters.
to remind P that she is THE most important person in our unit, i will hang a poster in her room that says:
“rules of patient care:
rule #1: the patient is ALWAYS right.
rule #2: if the patient is wrong, refer to rule #1″
NM’s guidelines depressed me. i felt sick thinking about it. at the end of the shift, i felt used and drained, and i can’t even blame my hormones. what makes me sicker is the fact that i don’t have the heart to refuse taking care of P, because i honestly or stupidly feel she deserves to be treated with kindness, just like every patient.
i go back to work on friday, and i’m sure, P is going to be my patient. it feels weird to be patronized by other nurses, to be asked if i’m okay every time i leave P’s room. they think giving me a little pat on the back frees them from their guilt of refusing to take care of her.
on the other hand, i think i will never be free from the guilt. because sometimes, if not most of the times, i lie to P when i show her i am happy she banged her call light. i am a liar and i’m tired and sick of myself.


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Comment by lisaalexander08791885 — August 25, 2005 @ 2:52 am
Wow, spam city.
I think it is very professional that you are able to fight thru the difficulties and still manage to be a nurse to this patient.
Patients like this often “split” the team around them. A staff that has some nurses who refuse to care for her, while others like you seem to not have this option, has suffered such a “split.” Not good.
Your co-workers owe you a big night out at the best restaurant in town, complete with Chippendales to rub your feet. And they should wash your car.
Comment by shrimplate — August 25, 2005 @ 3:31 am
and to be honest, i don’t have the energy to delete all these spam. (especially if they all say i have a “neat blog” what that means, i am clueless
Comment by may — August 25, 2005 @ 8:56 am
Oh yea, lots of spam ;( … I love your “you mean more frequently than every 5-10 mins.” … when I used to work rehab we’d also get these emotionally draining patients from time to time and invariably they would be the ones to stay with us for months. We usually tried to keep the same nurses with the same patients for continuity, but with these patients every once in awhile (or more often!) you need a “night off” and to have someone else care for them!
Comment by mamalife — August 25, 2005 @ 6:18 pm
May, I have one word for you:
Refuse.
You can refuse an assignment once you’ve taken care of a patient. DO IT. You’re not doing her or yourself any favors by putting yourself through this.
There are some patients whom, as we say on our unit, make it necessary to spread the love.
Take care of yourself FIRST. This is the cardinal rule. Without it, your patients are screwed.
Comment by Jo — August 25, 2005 @ 6:51 pm
I hope at least you can put this out of your mind after you blog it. I know writting it out helps me. I also know the stress taking it home with me can cause. I try my best not to. I will be thinking of you!
Comment by SassyNurse — August 26, 2005 @ 12:58 am
May, you seriously need to get rid of all these spammers on your blog.
Go to your Dashboard, Change Settings, Comments…scroll down to the bottom to where it says ‘Show Word Verification for comments’ Click yes. Save and republish. That way, you will stop getting all these retarded ads. Also, don’t allow anonymous comments.
I think you are handling the Patient as best as you can. I don’t think you are a bad person, I think you are doing a great job. As annoying as she sounds, you manage to take care of her with a smile on your face. Once you leave the room, feel free to vent all you want.
Your NM is just catering to her spoiled nature. I don’t think that is helping the situation.
Comment by Vixen — August 26, 2005 @ 3:26 pm
p sucks and you’re a great nurse:-)
Comment by AlexGrey — August 29, 2005 @ 3:13 pm
This post has been removed by the author.
Comment by AlexGrey — August 29, 2005 @ 3:21 pm
I think your Nurse Manager missed a great opportunity to SET SOME LIMITS with this woman! Especially given her need for control, this will not satisfy her. And the more her demands are given into, the worse she will become. I would wait a week or two; document like crazy and then ask the NM to revisit the entire issue.
Comment by Shasta — August 30, 2005 @ 9:16 pm