why
from the crib to the grave.
that’s what parenting is. so they say. but if you are already a parent, you know that it is before, and beyond that. the plans and choices one makes, radically change when one is about to become a parent. one’s life is never the same before a child is born, and much more so, after a child dies.
why do you want to become a parent? why do you want a child?
is it for biblical reasons? you were told to “go forth and multiply”, and so you follow? you have this overflowing love in your heart, you want to share it? you think procreation is an awesome idea, you want to be a part of it? you want to learn, firsthand, all the lessons in selflessness, and you’ve heard all the buzz about forgetting oneself when one is a parent?
is there an overwhelming, innate desire to nurture someone you call your own? you have a nagging thought of excitement at the reality of getting up every two hours to feed, and burp, and clean a tiny baby for a few months? you cannot wait to get up early in the morning, be creative with breakfast, only to be told “i hate you” because it is pancake they want instead of bacon and eggs? you are so emotionally prepared to go through all the pain of seeing somebody you have taken care of for years, be bullied, or be independent in school? you have enough strength to see a growing, confused, teenager? you have the heart to see your adult child get hurt by someone he loves, or be tortured by society’s ever increasing demands, and end up killing himself because he can’t take things anymore? you have all that, and more, so you want a child?
you get the chills listening to those little sounds babies make when they begin to see or recognize faces? you envision day and nights of little footsteps, generous shower of kisses from a toddler? you can’t contain yourself from blushing when people say your kid is going to be the next big thing? you look forward to babysitting your grandchildren after you retire from working for more than forty years, because they are like a breath of fresh air?
have you had an amazing relationship with your parents, you want to recreate that unique bond to honor them? or you have the crappiest parents, you want to make it all different, just to slight them?
you love your spouse/partner immensely, you decide it is just fitting that you have a little replica of the two of you, to complete the picture, and make it perfect?
you believe you are smart, talented, and have all the genetic designs needed to make or break the future, so you have the responsibility to pass it on, for the benefit of the human race? or you actually think having kids mean having somebody to take care of you when the time comes that you can’t remember your own name?
does having a child complete you? does it make you a better person?
why do you want to become a parent? why do you want a child?
you love God. because He first loved you.
you have a spouse/partner/lover. because you want to grow old with someone who loves and accepts you for what you have been and what you will become.
you get an education. because you want to be successful, and live decently and comfortably.
you serve your country. because it served you and all the others before you.
you serve other people. because it makes you feel worthy, and useful, and helpful.
you want to become a parent. you want to have a child.
because?
