“lucky” old man
she slipped in the bathroom. she said she cannot recall how.
i was thinking. well, it could be because she is 92, and as i observed, that is one thing most people above 90 do. they either slip, or fall. or forget. i did not tell her that.
it is quite a challenge to communicate when one is trying to locate a patient’s hidden urethra. i was on my second try, and her urethra just continued to evade me like some missing needle in a pile of hay. all i could think of was that i do not want to be in her place, so i better get that catheter in, before she cries enough. my second attempt was still a failure. i was very apologetic, and i felt like a failure. i told her i had to get another nurse to try, because i don’t want her to hate me for the rest of her life.
R was all nice about it.
“it could be because i have been a virgin till i was 84″ she said.
now, i don’t hear that kind of thing everyday, so i paid attention to the story which was obviously coming.
R said she married her husband when she was 84, and he was 72.
“i am catholic you know, so i never had any sexual relation, since i have never been married. my husband was so surprised when he found out i was a virgin. so on our honeymoon, all he could say was: “oh my, you really are a virgin!” we’ve been married for 8 years now, and i have never been happier.”
i told her i was happy for her too. i didn’t tell her that i was thinking…well, will i still be having…at 84? at 92? never mind.
anyway, the other nurse tried and failed, and did not want to traumatize her again. i was left with no other option but to try again. i had a little high when i saw her urine out of the catheter. i thanked her for being so patient and all nice about it.
R insisted it was not my fault. it was just because she has been a virgin for forever.
the next night, she was my patient again. 6 hours after a hip replacement, i expected her to be in pain. but she said she wasn’t. i told her to call if she needed anything, especially pain medicine.
at 8:30 pm, she started getting restless. she still denied pain, but i knew something was not right. i asked her if everything was okay.
“May, they still can’t find my husband. he left our house at 3 pm to visit me. we live about 2 miles from the hospital. the police already went to the house to check, but he is not there, and the car is not there. i am so worried. where is he? what happened to him? he has dementia.”
at 9 pm, she was on the phone. she said it was her niece, and she was just talking to the police. no news.
my attempt to help find her husband by asking security to look for their car in the parking lot was useless. security said that if he was just missing in the hospital, he could have been found by now.
at 9:15, she was fighting back tears. i felt like i had to do something. i know she won’t be surprised if i asked her if i can pray for her husband. after all, our hospital is a christian hospital. but i asked her anyway. she said yes.
it was a simple prayer. i asked God to keep her husband safe, wherever he was, and that He guide the police so he will be found. she said her thanks, and wiped her tears.
i was giving meds to my other patients, but i can’t stop thinking about R and her husband. what else can i do to help her? prayer was good, but it didn’t seem enough.
it was a little over 10 pm when i saw her put the phone down.
“May, they found him!”
he was in a city about 25 miles away. apparently, instead of turning right from their house, he turned left, and entered the freeway. then he just kept driving. he knew he was lost, but he didn’t know what to do. he finally got hungry, parked at a gas station, bought some chips and cookies, and ate in his car. he has been there for 4 hours when the police spotted his car.
she was on the phone with him afterwards. i overheard her say “there will be no more driving for you again honey.”
she put the phone down. she said she thanked God for answering our prayers. she thanked me.
then, she slept peacefully, like a baby.
R believed our prayer was answered positively. she didn’t want to talk about why it was so. she wanted to keep it simple.
complicated explanations are not for me either. i just believe, it’s easier.
for those who do not believe, prayer is not the reason why R’s husband was found.
it was just a coincidence. everything is.


Man…84 !!
I can’t imagine! Literally…I hope I live to be 84 and still gettin’ nakey with the honey! Sheesh!!!
Glad her husband was found…I’m sure that is such a hard thing to struggle with-dimentia, Alzheimers. I just pray that I’ll never get it.
Coincidence? Hmm..I don’t think so. I’m a big believer.
Comment by kimmyk — January 20, 2006 @ 11:22 am
Wow! That is truely amazing. Coincidence or not, I am so happy to hear that he was found safe and sound.
Man, 84?! That blows my mind!
Comment by Erin — January 20, 2006 @ 12:28 pm
She sounds like an amazing woman. I hate those evasive urethras, I’ve met a few also!
Comment by mamalife — January 20, 2006 @ 6:45 pm
YOur sucha compasionate person. She was blessed that day to have you by her side.
Comment by DayByDay4-2Day — January 21, 2006 @ 5:55 pm
It has been my experience that sometimes male nurses, who are perhaps more used to looking around down there, if you know what I mean, can often be helpful in placing catheters.
Hubby can still drive, but not the car, wink wink!
Comment by shrimplate — January 21, 2006 @ 7:07 pm
I had someone tell me: aim high, think of the area as a clock and insert at 12:00! LOL!
I’m glad they found her husband.
Good grief, I am just over half her age and have difficulty having the energy for…S…..E…..X…..
Comment by Kim — January 21, 2006 @ 11:25 pm
That’s amazing to be a virgin until 84 but some people’s faith is a strong factor in their lives. I’m glad that her husband was found okay..
P.S. I found you through the NP’s blog. Stop by mine if you have the time.
Comment by This Is Going To Hurt — January 22, 2006 @ 2:09 pm
Very touching story. She was lucky to have you there that day.
Comment by dribear — January 24, 2006 @ 4:37 am
Just a tip from a GYN. With lubricant, put your opposite hand index finger in the vagina first, then it should be fairly easy to find the uretha. Your inserted index finger will feel the foley tube sliding in the urethra. Also works well with a swollen vulva prior to C-section.
Comment by el — January 25, 2006 @ 7:06 pm
married for the first time at 84… gives me hope.
ha ha
Comment by unsinkablemb — January 29, 2006 @ 2:47 am