i get sad in the middle of a loud, happy party, because there are people i wish were in that party, but are thousands of miles away. but i don’t go in the corner and cry uncontrollably getting all severely depressed about it.

i get hyper when everybody is quiet and sort of slow, to brighten up the mood, but i don’t go around thinking i can do anything, even something illegal, just because i am so hyped up.

i guess that makes me a litle weird or a little normal depending on how one looks at things.

i always say i’m manic depressive (bipolar) because i am a nurse.

let me clarify that. when it comes to dealing with illnesses, as far as i know, there are two kinds of nurses.

the first kind are the loony ones. the ones who exagerrate whatever they experience or have, turn them into symptoms, and diagnose themselves, then have fun talking about it with their fellow nurses.

the second kind are the scared loony ones. the ones who would ignore even the legitimate life threatening symptoms they experience, would not see a doctor even if it kills them, and just pretend everything is okay, hoping whatever they have will eventually go away.

sometimes, i am one of those scared loony ones. i say why see the doctor? i don’t want to know what i really have.

most of the times, i fall into the first category. the loony one. i would get thirsty, get hungry, pee, and i’ll say i have diabetes. i feel a little lymph node somewhere and i’ll say have cancer. i’ll have a little pain somewhere and i’ll just say i am having a heart attack. i willl feel sad in the middle of all people having fun because i remember somebody who is not present; or be hyper in the middle of all quiet nurses to change their moods, and i’ll say i’m bipolar. and everybody will start laughing, and i will be symptom free. all for a good laugh. or sometimes, all for a little excuse to worry about something.

i do not take mental illness lightly. i did not intend to make bipolar sound like it is a fun thing to have. but i do say i have it, to have a little laugh when everybody at work has not sat down for six straight hours, to take their minds away from stressful, frustrating thoughts, even for a few minutes.

i honestly appreciate the thoughts, thank you. i also appreciate the fact that you shared your own experince. i cannot agree with you more about seeing a doctor and being medicated. i apologize, if by saying “i am bipolar” i have trivialized this condition. i did not intend to do that. i am not really bipolar, just a little loony. so don’t worry, i will definitely go see a doctor, take medication, once i come up with a legitimate complaint.

again, thanks for your sincere concern.