weekend report
the news on tv are getting really devastating, that i don’t even watch news anymore. if you are one of those who sort of enjoy being updated with the horrible things happening in this place we call world however, i do not blame you. you have your reasons, and i respect those reasons. however, don’t get me all stressed out by enumerating how many dead bodies you have seen on tv in the last few weeks, as i am already depressed as it is, just by thinking about it.
just in case you need a break from the important things though, this little post is for you. it has nothing to do with the world at large, and has no relevant significance in your life whatsoever. it’s just a personal entry designed to draw your attention from your daily news oriented existence, to something you don’t really care about.
yesterday was my little one’s second birthday and he had a blast. he shoved cake in his little mouth like he has not seen food since he was born, and i did not feel even a hint of guilt, because hey, it’s his birthday, and it’s once a year that he can literally have his cake and eat it too.
i started the day at 5:30 in the morning. i cooked food for the whole universe even if there were only 17 people coming. don’t ask me why, but there is a sense of accomplishment and peace in knowing that it doesn’t matter if the whole neighborhood does not show up (because they are not invited in the first place), but what matters is that you have food ready for them when they do show up, all starving and demanding food at gunpoint.
the highlight of the day was THE gift. my sister gave the birthday boy a suit. as expected, the little ingrate had no idea what the fuss was all about, and was his usual wiggly, self when we were trying to put it on him. he had no clue that it was expected he model the item, till the adults get the satisfaction they desire in seeing a 2 year old, all dressed up, looking all handsome and adorable in his new little suit. after what seemed like a decade, he was finally looking his best, and all he can do was roll over the floor and do his own version of what seemed to look like a breakdance. the majority of the adults were ready with their cameras, but the little guy was busy with being his usual hyperactive self, he immediately wore the paparazzi out.
the higher highlight of the day was the older brother. he was the one who was dying to wear the gift and was waiting for the frenzy to be over, so he can have his turn in wearing THE suit. he was already in his underwear while his little brother was just being undressed for the fitting. because i had a mother’s heart, and the birthday boy didn’t really care, we put it on him.
it took a great deal of creativity and strategy to convince the 3 year old to take the suit off, but after an hour or two, he finally did. just when the sun was setting, and exhausted guests were gone, the real drama began. he wanted to wear the suit again and go for a walk around the block.
now, call me heartless, but i cannot for the life of me let this ridiculous thing happen. it just looked wrong in a lot of levels.
for starters, even if the sun was already out, it was still like 203 degrees outside. secondly, what kind of a sane 3 year old walks around the neighborhood with his tight suit on, pants above the ankles, 3/4 sleeves just barely below his elbows? his chance of being popular with his peers in the future will be ruined, and really, do i have the strength to bear that pain with him when he is all rejected and ignored by all the important people his age? i am not taking chances. let us not even start with the possible effect on the real owner of the suit. what kind of emotional trauma will he have to deal with if he eventually finds out that he never had the chance to ruin his own suit, because his older brother did it for him? favoritism issues, lifelong sibling rivalry issues…please, let’s not even go there.
so yeah, he cried for an entire hour, nonstop. it was like listening to a boring, nagging speech, but at the same time, i must admit, it was heartbreaking. he fell asleep crying, and when i carried him to his bed, he started screaming for the suit again, at a lower intensity. a nightmare woke him up in the middle of the night, crying “i want it, i want it, it’s mine, it’s mine!” obviously still talking about the suit. and as i’m blogging, he is on timeout for trying to rip my lungs out, while explaining that the suit “is for wearing outside” and he wants to wear the suit again, to play in the backyard.
i know, a suit is nothing but a piece of clothing. a little expensive than the usual shirt and shorts maybe, but still, just a piece of clothing. so why don’t we just let the little guy have his way and let him wear the suit to his heart’s content, or until the suit gives way, whichever comes first? well, we are saying we want to teach him the proper thing to do, and the proper clothes to wear. but deep inside, we are just these mean, insensitive parents who take pride in watching our little ones suffer. that’s just what it is in simple terms. really.
don’t you wish there are evidences, by means of photographs, to show that cuteness abound in our household? can’t you just get enough from your imagination? you know, close your eyes and imagine how a 2 year old with an oversized suit looks like, and how a 3 1/2 year old with a really tight suit looks like? don’t you wish to see pictures of the earth’s cutest little boys? like they show pictures in the news when they say one more buiilding was blasted, and some people lost their head or limbs in that blast? i know you thought about that, but i leave you disappointed because posting pictures is not yet my cup of tea at this time. besides, this blog is not really like those shows which ratings go up if they show pictures. so, no pictures. sorry.
is there a point to all these ramblings? nothing really. unless of course you consider the trivial but important lessons you can read between the lines. then you might not have wasted your precious minutes reading this nonsensical weekend account.
the little “hidden” gems of wisdom… listen up:
1. go ahead and order food. your guests will always say that the food is great. that you, or some unknown person cooked the food does not change anything. everyone will always compliment the food, and it is none of your business if they are lying or not. all you have to do is be polite and say thanks.
2. freshen up on your numerical skills and do the math smartly. point in case: if there are 17 people coming, even if they all have not eaten for three days, they might be able to eat, at their most extreme gastronomical capacity, for 51 people. stop being such an overachiever and prepare food for 501 guests. geez.
3. don’t litsten to that long time guilt causing statement of your parents long ago that you have to save and eat all the leftover foods because “people are starving in india”. even though you know that is the truth, it is a lie to believe those famished people in india can eat vicariously through you. throw the leftovers. don’t think twice, just throw them! the leftover cake has no feelings, it will not cry if you place it in the garbage, where it truly belongs. and even if it cries, what is that to you? you’re too emotional? you can’t handle a little crying? puhleeez.
4. fun is what you make it. this needs no further explanation. just have fun watching everybody have fun. whether they are faking it or not, do you really have to know the truth? you are only accountable to your own claim of having fun. don’t have this grandiose idea that you can change everyone’s mood just by inviting or not inviting them to see your family celebrate another year of diaper changing being over. it is not all about you sometimes.
now that you had a couple of minutes break from watching CNN, i feel a lot better. bloated from eating the leftover chocolate cake with blueberry filling, but feeling a lot better, thank you.
hope your weekend was not that enjoyably intense.
or was it?
