curious and tagged
i was not surprised that she was discharged when i worked the next night. she wanted to go home anyway. she was worried about her babies, the three cats. one of them needs daily meds of anti-seizure meds she said.
i’m talking about N, a remarkable human being i met two nights ago at work. she was one of my patients.
it would have been nice to know how she was doing. i can easily look up her phone number and just say hi. but i stopped myself because i have to be cautious. this is america, and what we filipinos usually think as perfectly normal, might be misinterpreted as odd or suspicious, or even a violation of the incomprehensible (at least to me!) confidentiality/HIPPA law.
so here is the burning question:
if you are a patient, and you are already home after being discharged, would it totally freak you out to receive a phone call from one of your nurses? would you find it weird, unprofessional, crazy, that your nurse just actually wants to know how you are doing? would you be paranoid and think about anything horrible if your nurse tells you that she just called because she wants to wish you well? would you call the hospital patient relations to complain that your privacy was violated by one of the nurses because she pulled out your phone number from your records just to give you a “friendly” call?
if you are a nurse, or anyone in the medical field, and you find out that one of your colleagues called one of her previous patients just to say hi and find out if that patient is doing well, would you find that completely inappropriate?
i’d like to hear it guys. thanks.
_______________________
not that the songs that i am listening to are really that interesting, but i am sharing them anyway because i was tagged by crystal, and i am a willing victim:)
i enjoy listening to all kinds of music, except hard rock (mainly because it hurts my ears), but this list is of the ones that currently stand out:
1. “Jesus Take The Wheel” by Carrie Underwood
you have no idea how TERRIFIED i was when i started driving just a year ago. this is literal for me, as much as spiritual.
2. “The Air That I Breathe” by Barry Manilow
…”sometimes all I need is the air that i breathe and to love you” because it pretty much sums up how i feel about him. most, if not all of the times.
3. “Everybody Hurts” by The Corrs
“…when you think you’ve had enough of this life, hang on. don’t let yourself go, coz everybody cries, everybody hurts. sometimes, sometimes everything is wrong…if you feel like letting go, hold on…if you’re sure you’ve had too much of this life, hang on. coz everybody hurts sometimes…don’t blow your head if you feel like you’re alone. no, no, no, you’re not alone…” i totally agree.
4. “Promises” by Basia
“…go and ask anybody, they will all say the same…love is contagious, we are part of a chain…” we are either bound by love. or not. i think.
5. “It Is You” by Dana Glover (from the soundtrack of Shrek I)
“…no more mystery, it is finally clear to me. you’re the home my heart searched for so long. it is you i have loved all along.” because. very personal reason.
6. “Please Remember” by Le Ann Rimes (from the soundtrack of Coyote Ugly)
“…goodbye, there’s just no sadder word to say. and it’s sad to walk away with just the memory. who’s to know what might have been…” just because goodbyes are sad.
7. “Carol Ann” by Michael W. Smith
this is an instrumental piece that takes me to the most emotional part of my being and makes me want to cry. for reasons unknown even to myself.
i tag anybody who wants to play.


May, first off, I’ve had that same desire to check on patient’s that I’ve cared for. I’ve grown incredibly attached to several families ~ even stop to talk to them in the grocery store if they approach me. No matter how hard it is, and how much I want to know how they are doing, I don’t feel that I can in good conscience find their phone number (it wouldn’t be hard ~ from their chart, phone book, etc.) and call without their permission from home. It just violates the whole privacy thing. Now, if I were a patient and you were my nurse, I wouldn’t mind a call checking on me. Doctor’s offices call all the time, for appointment confirmations, check-ups, etc. Maybe if you call from the hospital and leave it at that. Let her know you wanted to check in on her, etc, etc. I don’t know. I kinda contradicted myself. I see why you asked for input. I hope someone else has something wiser to say.
As for your tag list ~ I think it’s great. Thanks for participating! I do enjoy reading your blog! It gives me perspective into the career that I’m entering. I really need to get back to my practice NCLEX questions. I have a major exam on Monday and have procrastinated WAY too long!
Comment by Crystal — September 22, 2006 @ 5:10 pm
I think that if I were called by my nurse to see how I was doing, I would either consider it protocol or just very friendly. I doubt it would be a matter of “Oh no she’s stalking me” and more of “Wow, what a great medical community that they actually are concerned about the health of a patient”.
Comment by Kirstin — September 22, 2006 @ 6:21 pm
I think if you called as a nurse to see how she is doing, that would be okay and appreciated. But you might want to check with hospital policy, because, as you say, all the crazy HIPAA rules. I do sometimes call a patient from work the next day after they were in the office, or made a call to the office, to make sure things are going okay.
Comment by Lisa — September 22, 2006 @ 7:00 pm
may, you always have the best questions.
i have had several instances where i wanted to do this, especially when i worked in outpatient phlebotomy. one patient in particular, was getting bloodwork before she had a port placed for chemo. she was horrified and scared out of her mind. for herself, and her 17yr old daughter. when i told her i am the daughter of a 16yr breast cancer survivor, she totally lit up. i told her i wished for her daughter to be my age, sharing with someone about her own mom being a 16yr survivor. i was dying to call her and check on her. i even took her number and address, but never did it. i know the hospital would frown on it. there was another breast cancer patient, and i wanted to send her a “be strong” cancer bracelet. we spoke about mine, and all… but i never did. sometimes i hate how HIPPA prevents us from being kinder supportive human beings. so i found a different approach. i found a quote that i had copied on 1/4 folded pieces of paper, and if i found a patient like that, i could give it to them after drawing their blood. it always made that connection i wanted, to show my care for them as a person going thru a hard time, and didnt really breach anything HIPPA-related.
i have been thinking of your army nurse. i hope she is well… i am sure she is better now that she is home with the babies :}
Comment by ladybug — September 22, 2006 @ 8:43 pm
OH! and i forgot to say - as part of our hospital’s customer service protocol, we actually were expected to call every single patient who came to have blood drawn the following day, just to make sure our service was Very Good. it actually had nothing to do with the patient, and everything to do with the Patient Experience Survey that we wanted “all 5’s” on. i hated that they wanted us to ~sway~ the patients…but in the rare instances, it did give us a chance to call that patient we connected with… especially since i preferred to call my own patients whose blodd i drew.
PS - sorry if i am too rambly here. i am blaming it on the speed…er, decongestants. naaah, its all me!
Comment by ladybug — September 22, 2006 @ 8:46 pm
I’m one, that takes the “CARE” part of my care giving duties seriously.
I’ve also been told repeatedly over the last five years, by my charge nurse, that “I’m not cut out for this type of work and I have unrealistic ethics.”
But, who do my patients ask for?
There should be more like you (((May))).
Comment by Ms.Chievous — September 23, 2006 @ 1:53 am
Great question, May. And it relates to so much more than just the instance in which you proposed it. When is it OK to reach out to a possible new friend, and when is it inappropriate. Making aquaintences is hard. You have to trust your instincts.
I frequently shop at a boutique, where I really liked the owner. I took the chance and gave her my number and asked if she’d like to grab a drink one night. I was nervous she would think I was trying to get a discount or something. Took a little while, but we have now started seeing each other socially.
I had a lawyer who represented me years ago, who called me about once a month after our business was done. Was that appropriate? I don’t know. But we had things in common and often talked every day during my case. It was nice to not be cut off after all was said and done. I was receptive to it, and I wound up talking to him and his wife about once a month ever since, and this has gone on for years.
I had a hair dresser that would often call me for non-hair things, like to tell me she was thinking about getting a cat. I had no idea why, since we had never had an kind of conversation other than strictly professional. I knew she had taken my number from the appointment book, and I admit I was uncomfortable about this. I would accept the calls, but it was wierd. All her calls wound up talking about how she needed money, like to take a cat to the vet, or to move, or to go to a dentist. After a few of these, I stopped answering her calls and stopped getting my hair cut with her. I think she was up to something. You have to trust your insticts.
I do this now with blogging; I leave comments and leave my email address where prompted when I hope to hear back from a blogger I specifically enjoy. Most often that is not reciprocated. Most often, I receive comments with annonymous email addys from those same people, preventing my ability to send them a friendly private note. I even commented on one blog, email me anytime. It bothers me when I get that annonymous email on a comment. Should I take that as personally as I do? Maybe, maybe not.
May, I think you have to trust your instincts. If you feel like there’s a connection between you and a patient (or a lawyer, or hair dresser, or business owner, or blogger) I think you should go ahead and reach out. Friendships come in all sizes - sometimes just very casual checking in on someone from time to time, and sometimes a very intense and deep connection. Making friends of any kind is hard. May, if you care about that patient, I say go ahead and reach out. The odds are it was mutual, and even if it’s just a few phone calls here and there, it could mean alot to that person. I know it would to me.
Comment by Veronica — September 23, 2006 @ 7:53 am
i’ve had patients whom i wanted to hear from after they were discharged… yes, i could have easily obtained their numbers from the records but i always stop myself… for the same reason you did … i was worried about what they would think. they might think i made a mistake in their treatment
Comment by Rygel — September 24, 2006 @ 8:10 am
I stayed in contact with one of my patients from nursing school for several months–a 3 year old cancer pt from peds rotation. I had her family’s permission, went to visit her every other day or so(she was hospitalized the entire time), helped her family out as much as I could–single mom without a car, I gave her a ride to the hospital a few times. A week before she was due to be d/c’d, the nurse manager on the floor told me that the family thought I was trying to take their child away from them and that I couldn’t come visit anymore wihtout one of them with me.. Family refused to answer my phone calls. Saw the grandparents in a parking lot a few weeks ago, and they gave me a very long look but didn’t approach me.
Comment by Jen — September 24, 2006 @ 3:39 pm
I often wonder about how some of my ex-patients are doing but I would never look up their number to ring them up to find out, unless this was something tha was preagreed and part of their ongoing care. This would be a transgression of boundaries at the very least in my area.
I understand why you want to but I’m sure you must be subject to the same kind of issues.
As a patient, I would absolutely appreciate it if a nurse cared enough to check on how I was doing but that’s from a completely different viewpoint altogether.
Comment by HealthPsych — September 24, 2006 @ 4:26 pm
i have some nurse friends who still keep in touch with patients or family members. i don’t know, i can’t seem to do it..unless i run into them on the street. part of me feels like i give them what they need and we are part of each others lives during that time but to let go and let them live out without me reminding them of their hospital stay. plus it is a bit self-preserving…i like to have the memories of them being discharged in their own clothes with a smile on their face.
Comment by kt — September 25, 2006 @ 7:50 am
I have been a nurse for 9 years and I have kept in touch with several patients and patients families over the years with cards, phone calls and occasional meetings. I never hesistate to speak to someone when I am out and about if I met them through my job. I think people in my community would be insulted if I did not. Also, I often have people greet me or stop to talk that I never remember meeting, but I guess they remembered me. Keep up the good work. Lisa RN.
Comment by Lisa — September 26, 2006 @ 9:33 am
thanks to ALL. your comments, and the time you soent in posting them, are appreciated.
Comment by may — September 27, 2006 @ 5:20 pm
(Spoken as an occasional patient — not a nurse myself): I’d think it was a lovely human touch for a nurse or any other health care professional to call me the next day.
I remember when I moved to a new city years ago and immediately came down with a really bad case of stomach flu; I dragged myself to an urgent care clinic, where I remember mentioning to the doc that I was alone in the city with a suitcase and a sleeping bag, waiting for my furniture to arrive at my apartment in a couple of days and my new job to start in a week and a half. He called me 1-2 days later just to check on me. I remember smiling as we talked, then hanging up and crying a little that someone cared enough to check on my sick self. ;o)
My mother’s a retired nurse, and people in our hometown remember her warm and comforting service to them from decades ago. You sound like that kind of nurse.
I hope that you continue to keep that kind and caring side of your humanity front and center for your patients. Bless you!
Comment by Carolyn Bahm — September 29, 2006 @ 9:10 am
I cared for a patient in my ICU for 4 days and grew close to the family. A few days later when I came back I was the resource nurse and stopped by the patients room to check in and see how they were doing (pt and family)
Said patient had coded earlier in the day and it didn’t look good. I had to go releive a nurse in the MRI scanner and when I returned to the unit, patient had died and the family was gone. I can’t tell you how bad i wanted to contact the family and express my sympathy. I stopped myself as I felt it was a violation of both their privacy and HIPPA. It still bugs me to this day I didn’t get a chance to get back to the room before patient passed.
Comment by OneKewlRN — October 1, 2006 @ 4:10 pm
Maybe your readers would like to hear from a patient who will be grateful for the rest of her life for the professional care you gave her and the personal friendship that grew from that. (That would be me)
Hi May! It’s so good to see you having an active blog.
While I live in Canada, I was in your ICU unit in the Phillipines. You made an intolerable situation for then tolerable. You brought fun and food into my life. You introduced me to your friends. You slept in a cot in my room. You took me to your church.
How can you even question whether or not that kind of care is appropriate? Your level of care is on a plane so unfamiliar to others, I doubt they can believe it’s true. What could possibly be wrong about a nurse that wants to go above and beyond duty? But…to be realistic, I’m sure there will be someone somewhere who’ll disagree.
I loved it that I found you here.
Arlene
Comment by Arlene — October 25, 2006 @ 7:28 pm
Christian Symbols and Christian Resources
Sorry, it just sounds like a crazy idea for me
Trackback by Christian Symbols and Christian Resources — December 6, 2007 @ 4:20 am