i am better. thanks for all your good thoughts.
have fun celebrating the beginning of the new year! i will stuff my face with all kinds of food tonight, and hopefully live to see the first dawn of 2007.
happy new year everyone!
the day after christmas,
hateful people did this to me:
they sawed my skull and squashed my tiny brain.
they took out my throat and rubbed it with sandpaper, then put it back.
they stuffed my nose with a sack of filthy cotton balls.
they did not close my skull back.
they stoned me.
not with those tiny sized stones, but with bricks, till i was black and blue.
they then walked away, smiling sardonically.
not literally really.
but it sure feel that way.
upon deeper thought and consideration,
if hateful people did decide to do those things to me,
i will consider it a punishment for eating way too much sweets the day before christmas, and on christmas day.
hope your days after christmas celebration will not be spent in bed smelling like old, rotten, menthol candy, and coughing like crazy.
as for all your thoughts on my rated R post, thank you so much. your insights are appreciated. i will write an update about it later.
for the meantime, let me crawl back to bed.
gifts were opened. cookies were eaten.
the little boys’ screams and laughters were recorded.
hope your christmas morning was as exciting.
off to bed now, after two nights of working.
your thoughts on my previous post still welcome…
we talked for over an hour.
it was meant to be a short phone call. she just wanted to say thanks for the christmas gifts i sent, and in return, i will say the same. then, out of nowhere, she said she was not getting “it” at all. for three months now!
i was the one who had to say goodbye, because i realized the converstaion was going on and on and on without a positive outcome. besides, she was in the east coast, and it was almost midnight when we finally said our goodbyes.
they have been married for a little over two years now. she told me she is at a loss about this problem, she literally doesn’t know what to do anymore. her sister is insinuating that her husband might be gay. her brother in law, has been very outspoken in advising her to be all pretty, sexy, and ready when her husband comes, so “it” will happen. as far as she is concerned, she is doing everything she knows to get some, but still. none.
none. no sex for three months!
i am no sex expert. i can only talk according to my own experience, and those of other women, who find this topic pretty common when there is nothing else to talk about in the middle of the night at work. that being said, i will put it out upfront that what i will say is not scientific information.
this is what i think: no sex for three months between a physically healthy married couple in their late 30s, who are physically together, who have only been married for a little over two years, is not normal. there is a glitch somewhere, and not knowing where the glitch is doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist.
we both agreed on that. she believes the problem is him. analyzing the situation, i couldn’t agree more. “the past few times three months ago were all initiated by me, and i got tired, i just stopped trying.”
again, this is not scientific, but very true to almost all the women i know. primarily, for us, sex is an emotional experience. the act is an expression of the emotional intimacy a couple exlusively shares. i would further say, as a christian, that sex is a sacred experience that seals the uniqueness of a marriage.
it is not surprising to me that this whole no-sex-for-three-months dilemma affects her tremendously. i totally agree with her when she implied she feels like their marriage is drifting away. she also feels totally rejected and neglected, and i do undertsand why.
we went on and on and on without a solution. i ended up getting tired of hearing myself say: “i feel so bad for you, but i have no idea how to help you.”
victoria secrets didn’t help. serious requests and suggestions to seek professional help were all denied. she said she has every reason to believe he is not gay. he voiced out he doesn’t see any problem in their marriage, not even in the sex department.
clearly, this is not the way she sees it, and i fully understand why she feels helpless. aware that it was a redundant suggestion, for the nth time i strongly recommended professional help, but as she redundantly pointed out, her husband would not hear any of it.
i ended up saying my all used up line “i feel bad for you, but i have no idea how to help you.” i do feel that way honestly, but even to myself, i didn’t sound very helpful.
kind people of the blogosphere, what are your thoughts?
how often is “normal”?
men, what are your reasons for ignoring women?
women, how do you feel when ignored?
