so.

i woke up in an orgasmic trance. well, not literally, but so close to it. the dream was so real, i can still smell everything when i opened my eyes. it was good, and i’m still glad it happened, even if it was just a dream. no, i will not elaborate. not that my dream was obscene or something. it’s just that…

anyway, thanks for sharing your thoughts on being glad or sad after dreaming your dream.

can you believe it? the year is almost over.

anyway, one of my patients last night was a pastor, who was such a trooper. i mean the guy didn’t even complain when we had to transfer him to a different unit at 4 AM. he joked about us trying to drown him when the patient care assistant disconnected his O2 humidifier and sterile water accidentally went into his nose like it literally rained specifically inside him. other than that, he was really way too cool about everything, even his cancer.

the wife however was quite a different story.

at the beginning of the shift, she asked me: “does somebody clean this floor at all? we were here since saturday, and everytime i look at the floor, it is just so filthy i can’t stand it.”

i told her i will get the housekeeping to clean the floor.

“he is a pastor, and i am his wife. i believe that cleanliness is next to Godliness, not nastiness is next to Godliness. that floor is nasty. if you get the mop for me, i won’t mind cleaning it. really.”

i had to go get the housekeeping to clean the floor like it was an emergency. i didn’t really think getting the housekeeping is next to Godliness, but at least the pastor’s wife will have nothing else to say.

before she left, she called me. “make sure you answer the call light right away when my husband needs help, because the whole day i was here, it took  30 minutes for help to arrive, and i end up helping him all the time. i might as well be his nurse, right? only thing is, i hate nursing.”

there is something about her attitude. i can’t put my finger into what it actually is. she was not rude or something. i just found her a little bit odd.

anyway, somebody recently asked me, with a very sweet voice at that, if i am “gaining weight?”. she touched my shoulder like she meant she felt sorry she had to ask, but she just had to. because you know…uhhhmmm… questions are good.

i won’t bore you with all the overwhelmingly disturbing emotions i experienced after the matter of fact question was asked, but let me say this as a warning to all who want to be friendly by asking questions…

there is no good way to ask a question like that. there is no way. not the way you say it. not the way you change the tone of your voice. not the way you add physical contact. not the way you droop your eyelids like you are sympathy personified. this is a bad question, and nothing can make it good. nothing. none.

anyway, the horse shampoo is working. the proof to that declaration is the fact that while waiting in line to order our every three weeks cholesterol and fat fix at costco (hotdogs, churros, pizza), the lady behind me,  asked if i don’t mind telling her what i do with my hair, because “it looks really pretty and shiny”. her words, not mine. i told her about the shampoo, and she swore she will go and try it. in my 37 years of existence, nobody (not even the people i pay to say good things about me) has ever said anything nice about my hair. not even one. so there, i am a horse shampoo endorser now, and i have this shiny, thicker hair to prove it.

anyway, i still have a hundred things all mixed up in my sleepy head, and i can’t figure out a way to talk about it without missing a thing, so…