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	<title>Comments on: reflective practice</title>
	<link>http://www.aboutanurse.com/2007/02/reflective-practice.html</link>
	<description>a nurse blog.</description>
	<pubDate>Thu, 20 Nov 2008 16:48:11 +0000</pubDate>
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		<title>by: Maggie</title>
		<link>http://www.aboutanurse.com/2007/02/reflective-practice.html#comment-15182</link>
		<pubDate>Sat, 10 Mar 2007 19:48:18 +0000</pubDate>
		<guid>http://www.aboutanurse.com/2007/02/reflective-practice.html#comment-15182</guid>
					<description>I liked Kim's suggestion above [Feb 15th] which said to give Snarly a business card.  You could also respond by making sure you take their names as well, recording time and date in an obvious way.  I'd probably bring them a 'complaints form' and suggest I helped them fill it in.  Hopefully there's a place which asks them what they would like to see done and you could talk them through it.   I'm sure they wouldn't swear, but if they did, you would have to include it.  They may come up with a brilliant idea that no one else has ever thought of! [Build a new wing that is sound-proofed with loads of extra staff], they may even offer to pay for it.

Anyway, you'll know when you've reflected on this to a satisfactory level, because you'll probably look back and not get worked up about it.</description>
		<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>I liked Kim&#8217;s suggestion above [Feb 15th] which said to give Snarly a business card.  You could also respond by making sure you take their names as well, recording time and date in an obvious way.  I&#8217;d probably bring them a &#8216;complaints form&#8217; and suggest I helped them fill it in.  Hopefully there&#8217;s a place which asks them what they would like to see done and you could talk them through it.   I&#8217;m sure they wouldn&#8217;t swear, but if they did, you would have to include it.  They may come up with a brilliant idea that no one else has ever thought of! [Build a new wing that is sound-proofed with loads of extra staff], they may even offer to pay for it.</p>
<p>Anyway, you&#8217;ll know when you&#8217;ve reflected on this to a satisfactory level, because you&#8217;ll probably look back and not get worked up about it.
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		<title>by: 10mgiv</title>
		<link>http://www.aboutanurse.com/2007/02/reflective-practice.html#comment-14554</link>
		<pubDate>Tue, 06 Mar 2007 14:54:37 +0000</pubDate>
		<guid>http://www.aboutanurse.com/2007/02/reflective-practice.html#comment-14554</guid>
					<description>You can please all the patients some of the time....
You can please some of the patients all of the time....
But... you can NEVER please the Family.</description>
		<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>You can please all the patients some of the time&#8230;.<br />
You can please some of the patients all of the time&#8230;.<br />
But&#8230; you can NEVER please the Family.
</p>
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		<title>by: emily</title>
		<link>http://www.aboutanurse.com/2007/02/reflective-practice.html#comment-13224</link>
		<pubDate>Sun, 25 Feb 2007 19:26:55 +0000</pubDate>
		<guid>http://www.aboutanurse.com/2007/02/reflective-practice.html#comment-13224</guid>
					<description>Why _is_ it that we take so much abuse from patient's families and think it is "normal?"  Why do we as a profession tend to think we are the ones to blame?  I ask myself these questions over and over and over.

A few years ago I had a patient's aunt threaten to kill me.  The patient was shot in a gang related incident and I worked in a rough part of a big city.  You better believe I took her seriously, even though I did nothing wrong.

Being the convenient target for anger and frustration needs to be something we help protect each other from.   Too bad there isn't an easy solution.</description>
		<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Why _is_ it that we take so much abuse from patient&#8217;s families and think it is &#8220;normal?&#8221;  Why do we as a profession tend to think we are the ones to blame?  I ask myself these questions over and over and over.</p>
<p>A few years ago I had a patient&#8217;s aunt threaten to kill me.  The patient was shot in a gang related incident and I worked in a rough part of a big city.  You better believe I took her seriously, even though I did nothing wrong.</p>
<p>Being the convenient target for anger and frustration needs to be something we help protect each other from.   Too bad there isn&#8217;t an easy solution.
</p>
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		<title>by: Joe</title>
		<link>http://www.aboutanurse.com/2007/02/reflective-practice.html#comment-12328</link>
		<pubDate>Tue, 20 Feb 2007 05:36:37 +0000</pubDate>
		<guid>http://www.aboutanurse.com/2007/02/reflective-practice.html#comment-12328</guid>
					<description>I definitely understand the frustrations that are generated by dealing with family members. Like I said, I have fallen into that trap, and it almost ended in serious disaster for me. I was spendindg so much time and energy on the family member that I almost lost track of my patient. That is when I learned to double check myself before I get into the thick of things with the family members. I find it accomplishes two things at once- it double checks my work (I tend to be compulsive that way, always "rethinking" what I have done, or what I should have done) and it gives the family member some sense that I am not ignoring them. (Sometimes that is all it takes for them to be satisfied) Unfortunately it doesn't work in every case, but it seems to help me most of the time. 

Also, I did not mean to imply that you didn't have your patient's best interest in mind. I apologize if that's the way it came across. One of my duties in the position I have right now is to examine every incident/complaint from a Quality Improvement perspective, which forces me to examine everything from just about every conceivable angle, and present all the possibilites to the "Team Leaders" for review.</description>
		<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>I definitely understand the frustrations that are generated by dealing with family members. Like I said, I have fallen into that trap, and it almost ended in serious disaster for me. I was spendindg so much time and energy on the family member that I almost lost track of my patient. That is when I learned to double check myself before I get into the thick of things with the family members. I find it accomplishes two things at once- it double checks my work (I tend to be compulsive that way, always &#8220;rethinking&#8221; what I have done, or what I should have done) and it gives the family member some sense that I am not ignoring them. (Sometimes that is all it takes for them to be satisfied) Unfortunately it doesn&#8217;t work in every case, but it seems to help me most of the time. </p>
<p>Also, I did not mean to imply that you didn&#8217;t have your patient&#8217;s best interest in mind. I apologize if that&#8217;s the way it came across. One of my duties in the position I have right now is to examine every incident/complaint from a Quality Improvement perspective, which forces me to examine everything from just about every conceivable angle, and present all the possibilites to the &#8220;Team Leaders&#8221; for review.
</p>
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		<title>by: may</title>
		<link>http://www.aboutanurse.com/2007/02/reflective-practice.html#comment-12319</link>
		<pubDate>Tue, 20 Feb 2007 04:19:13 +0000</pubDate>
		<guid>http://www.aboutanurse.com/2007/02/reflective-practice.html#comment-12319</guid>
					<description>Joe,
   thanks for dropping by. let me make myself clearer: P hits her head as a habit. she does it even in her house, where it is not a strange place, and she is not with strange people. that is why she is wearing a helmet 24/7. i don't think i am missing the whole point, which to me is this: when our family gets sick, we get stressed, sometimes that stress causes us to be self centered and impatient about others. although i understand that behavior, i have to be honest and say it gets very challenging to deal with, especially if i have my patient's best interest in mind. that is the whole point, although i will definitely respect it if you don't agree.</description>
		<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Joe,<br />
   thanks for dropping by. let me make myself clearer: P hits her head as a habit. she does it even in her house, where it is not a strange place, and she is not with strange people. that is why she is wearing a helmet 24/7. i don&#8217;t think i am missing the whole point, which to me is this: when our family gets sick, we get stressed, sometimes that stress causes us to be self centered and impatient about others. although i understand that behavior, i have to be honest and say it gets very challenging to deal with, especially if i have my patient&#8217;s best interest in mind. that is the whole point, although i will definitely respect it if you don&#8217;t agree.
</p>
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		<title>by: Joe</title>
		<link>http://www.aboutanurse.com/2007/02/reflective-practice.html#comment-12167</link>
		<pubDate>Mon, 19 Feb 2007 13:30:10 +0000</pubDate>
		<guid>http://www.aboutanurse.com/2007/02/reflective-practice.html#comment-12167</guid>
					<description>Forgive me, but I seem to be looking at this situation in a different way. As an RN, I agree that visitors/family members like these can be a handfull. On the other hand, I think you are missing the whole point of the story you just told us. You said that P stopped hitting her head after just a few minutes of your consoling her. That to me is a big clue. She may not have been in pain, but she was probably scared to death. After all, she's in a strange setting, and doesn't understand what's happening to her. I would be willing to bet all she really needed was someone to reassure her in a soothing voice. 

I fall into this very trap myself when family members approach me, but I have learned to deal with it quite effectively by following one simple rule - before I react, I stop and ask myself if I have missed anything, or if there is anything I could do differently. More often than not I will think of something else I can do to alleviate the situation.</description>
		<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Forgive me, but I seem to be looking at this situation in a different way. As an RN, I agree that visitors/family members like these can be a handfull. On the other hand, I think you are missing the whole point of the story you just told us. You said that P stopped hitting her head after just a few minutes of your consoling her. That to me is a big clue. She may not have been in pain, but she was probably scared to death. After all, she&#8217;s in a strange setting, and doesn&#8217;t understand what&#8217;s happening to her. I would be willing to bet all she really needed was someone to reassure her in a soothing voice. </p>
<p>I fall into this very trap myself when family members approach me, but I have learned to deal with it quite effectively by following one simple rule - before I react, I stop and ask myself if I have missed anything, or if there is anything I could do differently. More often than not I will think of something else I can do to alleviate the situation.
</p>
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		<title>by: Yadolah Zarezadeh</title>
		<link>http://www.aboutanurse.com/2007/02/reflective-practice.html#comment-12019</link>
		<pubDate>Sun, 18 Feb 2007 15:28:26 +0000</pubDate>
		<guid>http://www.aboutanurse.com/2007/02/reflective-practice.html#comment-12019</guid>
					<description>"Reflective practice" is about "learning" learning how to deal with social life that is fluid, changing and unpredictable. One important tool that helps us to be a reflective practitioner is being able to analyse other people's perspective. People see things (very the same things) from different perspectives and they act based on what they see. It is hard for us to realise what their perspective might be, but it’s easy to explain ours in order to help them gain our perspectives. This is what you did in first scenario, starting with” Look Snarly I don’t care……”
This is the first step and an important one in dead to open the lines of communication as a reflective practitioner, the next would be trying to get their perspective in which there may be many things to learn about</description>
		<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>&#8220;Reflective practice&#8221; is about &#8220;learning&#8221; learning how to deal with social life that is fluid, changing and unpredictable. One important tool that helps us to be a reflective practitioner is being able to analyse other people&#8217;s perspective. People see things (very the same things) from different perspectives and they act based on what they see. It is hard for us to realise what their perspective might be, but it’s easy to explain ours in order to help them gain our perspectives. This is what you did in first scenario, starting with” Look Snarly I don’t care……”<br />
This is the first step and an important one in dead to open the lines of communication as a reflective practitioner, the next would be trying to get their perspective in which there may be many things to learn about
</p>
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		<title>by: kimmyk</title>
		<link>http://www.aboutanurse.com/2007/02/reflective-practice.html#comment-12000</link>
		<pubDate>Sun, 18 Feb 2007 14:02:51 +0000</pubDate>
		<guid>http://www.aboutanurse.com/2007/02/reflective-practice.html#comment-12000</guid>
					<description>I think ya handled yourself well May.  Sometimes ya just can't win.  But you did good.  Maybe next time to show you don't care if they ask your name, maybe offer to write it down for them so at least they get the spelling right or something.  LOL.</description>
		<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>I think ya handled yourself well May.  Sometimes ya just can&#8217;t win.  But you did good.  Maybe next time to show you don&#8217;t care if they ask your name, maybe offer to write it down for them so at least they get the spelling right or something.  LOL.
</p>
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		<title>by: howling</title>
		<link>http://www.aboutanurse.com/2007/02/reflective-practice.html#comment-11980</link>
		<pubDate>Sun, 18 Feb 2007 12:33:04 +0000</pubDate>
		<guid>http://www.aboutanurse.com/2007/02/reflective-practice.html#comment-11980</guid>
					<description>You did absolutely right by biting your tongue - just as long as it didn't bleed. Sometimes the cold treatment is what this kind of people deserve. Silence can be as cruel as it is kind. You didn't evidently try to hurt or maim her feelings. 

If you apologized to her in behalf of your noisy patient who obviously can't help it, it would only reinforce her nasty behaviour and the quickest way to a job burnout. Bitchiness is best when you are only a few days from retirement. So chill. LOL!!!</description>
		<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>You did absolutely right by biting your tongue - just as long as it didn&#8217;t bleed. Sometimes the cold treatment is what this kind of people deserve. Silence can be as cruel as it is kind. You didn&#8217;t evidently try to hurt or maim her feelings. </p>
<p>If you apologized to her in behalf of your noisy patient who obviously can&#8217;t help it, it would only reinforce her nasty behaviour and the quickest way to a job burnout. Bitchiness is best when you are only a few days from retirement. So chill. LOL!!!
</p>
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		<title>by: Melissa</title>
		<link>http://www.aboutanurse.com/2007/02/reflective-practice.html#comment-11905</link>
		<pubDate>Sun, 18 Feb 2007 05:03:19 +0000</pubDate>
		<guid>http://www.aboutanurse.com/2007/02/reflective-practice.html#comment-11905</guid>
					<description>Unfortunately, that kind of situation comes with nursing. If you hadn't worked that night, she would  have gone after whatever nurse was in your place. The problem wasn't you, it was her. Sometimes nursing sucks.</description>
		<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Unfortunately, that kind of situation comes with nursing. If you hadn&#8217;t worked that night, she would  have gone after whatever nurse was in your place. The problem wasn&#8217;t you, it was her. Sometimes nursing sucks.
</p>
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