we looked silly but we did do the happy dance.

our little guy’s renogram turned out okay. he still has hydronephrosis on his left kidney, but hearing the words “he will not need surgery at this time” is more than enough to make us dance, even if we are clueless about dancing. it is a drag that his ultrasound is back to its previous schedule of every six months again, but i’ll  gladly take that than any surgery, at any given day. also, it didn’t matter to me that his urologist is not a people person. yesterday, what mattered to me was that she was the bearer of good news.

to ALL of you who sent good thoughts and prayers…THANK YOU VERY MUCH! we obviously rocked the gates of heaven, and i want you to know i really appreciate your kindness. you may not know me personally, but i feel like i know you all in some way. again, THANK YOU!

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now, on to something else…your response to my question in my previous post was reassuring. i am relieved to hear that i am not alone in in my thinking. from the patients’ point of view, and from the healthcare team, it is undeniable that the wanted family’s presence is a plus. thank you all for your inputs.

speaking of wanted… like a major coincidence, the wife of my patient the other night freaked me out. i did not meet her, but the notes of the social worker, and the accounts of witnesses were enough to make me think that she was reaidng my blog and was out there to act as exhibit A. you know, the family member who is NOT WANTED at the bedside and should be escorted out of the room ASAP? she was that family! if she was not consciously doing that, what would i make of this harsh words she lashed out on her husband?

“you are f#*ng useless. i don’t even know why i am still married to you! four years of this and you are still alive? why? why are you still alive? you make me sick! why don’t you just die? you used to look good you know, now look at you! you are a f#*ng pain!”

read that in bold, capitalized letters, at the maximum volume a human voice can muster. in a circular unit where everybody can hear everybody, you get the idea. it was ugly. my patient, a really skinny man in his early forties was speechless. i can imagine him holding on to his ileostomy, wobbling on his bony legs, shaking. the effects of chemotherapy seriously overwhelmed his once healthy body. but was it his fault he was diagnosed with rectal cancer? and was it his fault that after four years of what seems like a futile battle, he is still hanging in there?

if i was there when it happened, i would literally drag the big mouthed wife out of my patient’s room. well, not literally, but you know what i mean. she was the epitome of an unwanted family. she should not be allowed at the bedside, at any time. as expected, authorities were called, and the verbally and emotionally abusive woman was indeed escorted out of the unit as soon as possible. not only that, my patient finally decided that he did not want her to make any health care decisions for him anymore. no, not DNR. it could just be in the spirit of revenge, but yes, he wants “EVERYTHING DONE”. chest compressions, tubes all over his already tube congested little body, all that medicine and science can offer, the works.

isn’t it amazing? awakening still happens. even when we are at our sickest state.

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now, on to more things…

i am flattered by the tag/award from dr. anonymous. to be honest, i never thought the popular doctor even reads my blog. it made me wonder: what are his thoughts when he sees my blog?  i hope not this: “what is this woman senselessly blabbing about, what a waste of blogosphere space!” kidding aside, i hope this little blog does make people think good thoughts. after all that is one of the main reasons why i blog. to make sense of things. and also, to find humor from things.

big thank you dr. A!  i apologize if i break the meme, it is not possible for me to pick only five bloggers to give the tag/award to. A LOT of bloggers make me think. it would be unfair to leave someone out, but it would be tacky to break the tagging rules too.