i am so personally affected by this virginia breaking news, that words cannot fluently form my thoughts.

i do not know anybody in that shooting craze, but in some bizarre way, i could be anyone amongst all those grieving, confused, angry, devastated, and utterly helpless people.

i could be the mother. of a dead son or daughter, or of the police, or of the survivors. or even of the shooter. how all the hearts of the mothers ache at that place at this very time, i can never even begin to imagine. 

i could be one of the sisters. i could be one of the aunts. i could be one of the friends. of the dead, or of the living, or of those who tried and try to keep a straight face despite the presence of tears and fears. i could even be the sister, the aunt, or a friend of the shooter. where do i even begin to soothe the numbing agony a senseless thing like this can cause?

i stopped watching the news after staring at the same chest crushing snap shots for a couple of hours. it is draining. extremely draining.

i can only pray that everyone affected by this unthinkable, painful event will be comforted in a way that will give them even the slightest sense of peace. beyond the endless unanswered questions, i can only hope for peace.