The issue is not about whether or not a patient’s illness is a result of their own actions. The issue is whether or not the patient can allow him/herself to accept the care and compassion of the people who are trying to ease their suffering. If the patient is unwilling to accept the care and compassion offered, then the caregiver has no choice but to stop offering. In that situation, the nurse can do nothing but the “robotic” functions of nursing, and ensure that he/she acts professionally, and with the clinical skill necessary to ensure the patient’s safety. Nothing more, nothing less. The patient May describes reminds me of the countless homeless, intoxicated individuals brought to my hospital to “dry out” in the ICCU where I worked. I offered medication to ease the physical symptoms of withdrawal, I attended to their physical needs, and I took the same care with them as I did with any other patient on my unit. On occasion, one of these patients would express his/her gratitude after the delerium passed, or would feel embarassed by their behavior. Then, and only then, would I pull up a chair next to their bed. I would offer my compassion again, but I was very careful to never offer what I couldn’t afford to lose. The amount of abuse and disrespect a human being can tolerate is finite. Nurses are human beings, too. People sometimes forget that.

Very often, people with personality disorders have an inherent kind of selfishness that also points them towards addictions that also gain them fatal illnesses such as AIDS and alcoholism.

Some maintain human graciousness. Some don’t. Fuck ‘em. Assholes. God invented pain for such people. And the disdain from others that even nurses must show.

Like the poster said, karma is a bitch. So what. I’ll take mine, with thanks.

There’s a special place in heaven for nurses. But I will gladly give up my space for the forgotten child af any one of those fuckheads that, like the jerkwad May describes, give others such a difficult time.

Wouldn’t you?

So May, I can tell from your blog, when it is your turn on the “potty chair”, you will not behave like the many that you have been dealing with - you also have the advantage of seeing both sides so will be able to remember the caregiver’s perspective. Yes karma can be a bitch, but in your case May, I am sure only good karma is in your future.

We all have bad days, for some people almost every day is a bad day; but unfortunately some people feel the need to take their bad days out on everyone, which not only negatively affects those trying to help, but makes it even worse for themselves.

May, you always get me started on these long winded comments - I need to start a new blog just to comment on what I read here

PS - I envy you - I wish I was able to do what you did - the difficult patient I dealt with in my clinical practice who made me cry probably wasn’t half as difficult as yours - I need to learn from people like you and turn the emotion off to get the job done - if you don’t you just burn yourself out. I think you handled everything the way you were supposed to. Please don’t second guess yourself - you are a great nurse

However, I am eternally grateful for the majority who have treated me so kindly and respectfully. Most of us, as nurses, WANT to do the right thing even when it is almost impossible.

Could he have benefited from a psych consult? Sometimes anger is so displaced that we need someone or something to bring us back to reality.

I think you did a good job, May.

My point had to do with the inappropriately placed blame. The patient was angry with the fact that he was dying and was taking it out on his caregivers.

May is an exceptional nurse. I appreciate the privilege that May has afforded for us health care professionals to read her thoughts and feelings and to respond to her in support and agreement.

I wish you comfort, Bobby.

Hon’ we all wish we had a nurse like you when we’re in the bed needing care. There’s too few nurses like you to go around. Chin up Sweetie… We appreciate you!