X-rated complaint
the patient’s wife asked for the nurse manager because she wants to complain. apparently, she believes that her husband is being sexually molested/harassed by the nurses.
the patient is a guy with endotracheal tube. the nurses routinely suction secretions from this tube to keep the patient’s airway clear and to ensure good oxygenation. water or saline is used to flush the suction catheter to prevent from clogging the tube. the secretions often form into whitish/foamy lumps or gunks that settle either on top or side of the saline/water that is collected in the suction canister. the suctioning occcasionally happens when the wife is visiting.
almost verbatim, here’s the wife’s concern: “the nurses are molesting my husband. they put a tube down his throat, and suck all his sperm out. i don’t know what they want, but i see them collect his sperm in that little container on the wall.”
the nurse amanager felt it necessary to share the wife’s concern to the staff, one of them is my sister who works in a county hospital ICU.
true story. because really, you think i am THAT imaginative to make this thing up?
kidding aside, i cannot even make up an appropriate reaction to this story. is this suppposed to be funny or sad? let me know what you think.


It’s funny! Because she wants to complain. So…
I am a nurse too.
Comment by Helena — July 15, 2007 @ 3:11 pm
It’s frickin’ hilarious! I laughed out loud. It does show that she wasn’t properly educated about the ETT, suctioning and her husband’s acute care. It’s such a funny story though, lol.
Comment by Vixen — July 15, 2007 @ 5:22 pm
Hahaha! I find it a bit hilarious. Well, that’s what misinformation can do sometimes.
Comment by Ferdz — July 15, 2007 @ 5:57 pm
Wow….long suction tube you fullas use…
Comment by KJ — July 15, 2007 @ 7:31 pm
Totally bizarre. That is the human imagination at work. I’ll bet she has some pretty screwed up nightmares.
Comment by Beth — July 16, 2007 @ 7:40 am
Funny or sad? Sad for her, poor thing………………
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…….. but, for the rest of us it’s pretty funny.
Comment by The Curmudgeon — July 16, 2007 @ 2:44 pm
the patients are usually just fine. As we see the vistors are truly sick.
Comment by bab — July 17, 2007 @ 7:38 am
May, did you know that your blog is mentioned in Nursing Spectrum magazine (New England edition, July 16)? “The AIDS Patient” post is referenced. Congrats. I enjoy reading your blog.
Comment by Amy — July 17, 2007 @ 12:54 pm
is she educated?
Comment by rygel — July 18, 2007 @ 3:31 am
hilariously funny! secretions tend to really look like that in a way! hahaha…
Comment by andre — July 18, 2007 @ 12:07 pm
Funny as hell! Good thing she didn’t think they were suctioning out his brains!!
Comment by rngonewild — July 18, 2007 @ 8:24 pm
I think it is sad, although admittedly part of me does want to laugh.
Comment by PD Warrior — July 19, 2007 @ 3:31 am
I think it’s funny but it makes me wonder just what kind of experience she’s had with sperm!
Comment by beajerry — July 19, 2007 @ 7:10 am
She was serious, right? Then it’s a sad story.
But as a healthcare provider, that is one of the more funny stories I’ve heard in a while. Maybe you shouldn’t keep your suction on full blast?
Thanks for an amusing anecdote.
Comment by Terry at Counting Sheep — July 19, 2007 @ 5:33 pm
It sounds like the wife was suffering from dementia or schizophrenia. No one could be that uneducated.
Comment by Melissa — July 19, 2007 @ 6:32 pm
I’m with Melissa on this one. The wife has a serious problem and I’ll bet she herself will be hospitalized within a few months.
I used to have a hilariously foul-mouthed co-worker who would, after confronting an unpleasant person, mutter the phrase “f%@k ‘em in the neck.”
Ewww.
Comment by shrimplate — July 20, 2007 @ 10:22 am
Someone buy her an anatomy book! Quick! ;o)
Comment by Moof — July 22, 2007 @ 7:31 am
I will never be able to look at secretions the same way! Too freakin’ funny!
Comment by Lisa, RN — July 22, 2007 @ 6:32 pm
i think it’s funny… in our line of work, we have to find some humor in what we do otherwise we’d all be depressed!
Comment by unsinkablemb — July 31, 2007 @ 5:03 pm
It’s a very funny story, BUT it’s also, sadly, a story about nursing failure. Who ASSESSED the wife’s knowledge and concerns? When did staff say, as she watched her husband being suctioned: “Can you tell me what I’m doing and why?” or “What questions do you have about what I’m doing today for your husband?” (It’s better to structure the question so that the answer can’t be a simple “yes” or “no.”) Who then explained it to her in lay terms that did not presume a knowledge of A & P? How was this communicated to subsequent shifts so it could be reinforced and her understanding re-assessed? Was there a nursing diagnosis related to family coping or knowledge? And if there was, anyone who wrote in a note: “plan of care explained to pt’s family” should be embarrassed. This story perfectly illustrates why a NURSING focus is essential, and why actually USING (not just documenting) a nursing framework to guide care can result in improved patient AND family outcomes. It’s a story that reminds us all, once again, how what seems to us to be simple procedures and circumstances can be utterly bewildering for patients and family members.
Comment by nurseadvocate — August 1, 2007 @ 12:14 pm
This is hilarious! I am enjoying your blog! -
Comment by katie — August 14, 2007 @ 6:15 am