there is a trend among my nursing schoolmates who are here in america.

a few of them have trasferred to a federal behavioral medical center (fbmc) because “you do nothing there”.

i do not know how truthful this statement is, but i have heard it so many times. and it is soon followed by a no brainer suggestion that i am stupid for working at a medical surgical telemetry unit that pays me way less than what the fbmc pays them. i will then be asked the all familiar question “they are hiring, what are you waiting for?” then the all common question: are you still in that unit? why?” then the closing remark: “i don’t know with you, but what is the point, it’s all about the money honey.”

to this series of highly offensive questions, i answer with a series of smiles. when the smiles die down and turn to discernable smirks, i slowly turn away.

there is a reason why i shy away from this topic. it is not because i am a hypocrite and that i can claim that money is not important.

i have enough respect and understanding of nurses who go to work in places where there is not much physical and mental stress. i totally get it. i completely dig it. it is sensible to say that work is something where you go so you can pay your mortgage and buy what you really want. i have nothing against that.

my only issue is the implication that i am stupid because i don’t do it. whille it is true that money is a very important reason why i work, there is something way beyond that fact that motivates me to drag my heavy behind and do the things i do at work.

it may sound overly dramatic unbelievable to others but for me it is very real. i go home and breathe a sigh of relief after a back breaking shift, happy that i have earned something to buy diapers anbd milk, but happier that in my own little insignificant ways, whether acknowledged or not, i have made a difference. i work where i work even though it is often extremely tiring because it gives me an indescribable sense of fulfillment.

when i complain about people at work (patients and colleagues) who offended, hurt or aggravated me, that is only because i am a human being. a feeling individual who is wired to normally experience expected negative emotions if rubbed the wrong way. when i complain about my feet killing me, my muscles aching, and my legs shaking, it is because that is truth. it is not because i hate what i am doing.

this is such a blurry subject even for my husband. everytime i rant about how tired i am, he would end up asking me to look for another job. he used to miss the whole point until i discussed with him in details, the fact that i love what i do and the complaints has nothing to do with me hating it. he then learned that he is not expected to give me a solution, because there is no real problem.

anyway, the next time somebody tells me it doesn’t make sense that i am still doing bedside nursing when in fact i have a choice to earn more while “doing nothing”, i will be forced to ask them nicely: “okay, i will transfer to fbmc, and will convince everyone in  my unit to do the same. now, who will take care of those who need to go to the medical surgical unit? who will be that stupid nurse who is willing to take care of them? we will just let you/them die then?”

my dear schoolmates who work at fbmc who are trying to convince/pester me to transfer….
don’t make me ask nice things. or don’t make me say “shut up and leave me alone.”
if i do not question you for working at a place where you claim you are happy because you “do nothing”, is it too much to ask that you stop questioning me for working where i work because i claim i am happy “doing something”? when i am ready to move on and be “smart” like you, i will contact you.

promise.