an open letter
MAY,
next time a male 50 year old patient brushes your hair and whisper “you are very pretty” while you’re taking his blood pressure, you better take his hand off your hair, look him in the eye, and tell him you are not comfortable with his action and you will not tolerate it.
don’t give me this “i just can’t do it” BS and then feel violated and harassed in silence. stop being a wimp that you are, and get the word out there.
if it is okay, stop whining and get over the “yuck, it’s so gross” litany. move on, and make a fool of yourself by believing he is only trying to compliment you, and he really means what he says. shake it off and embrace the idea that it is no big deal, that you’re being ridiculously exagerrated by blowing it all out of proportion. geez.
if it is not okay, stop making excuses and stop fueling some men’s fantasy that nurses are nothing but women who are not supposed to be taken seriously, because they are not really professionals.
you keep saying it will never happen again. well, how will it ever stop if you have no guts to do and say the right thing? frankly, i have no more sympathy for you. all you do is whine, whine, whine. next time, do something.
stop this nonsense.
AND.GROW.UP
or else, just wear a shirt that says:
“it’s alright, you can touch me anywhere…(front)
…i’m YOUR nurse” (back).
i bet you that will look good on you.
i’m tired of this. and i’m tired of you.
who else,
yourself


May, I agree it would take some courage to reprimand a patient, however necessary. Maybe you could try rehearsing it — have a friend play the role of the patient with roaming hands. That might be all you need to get the confidence to do it for real.
Comment by Vasha — September 13, 2007 @ 10:08 am
You have to set (reinforce?) the boundaries — even though they should be crystal clear to a 50 year old patient.
Comment by The Curmudgeon — September 13, 2007 @ 2:41 pm
Very interesting. I’m getting ready to write a paper about this very subject for a class I am taking now. Timeless subject, and we must wonder why this goes unchallenged by anyone involved a great majority of the time, especially with today’s atmosphere of political correctness to the tenth degree.
Comment by melissa — September 13, 2007 @ 6:12 pm
Oh voy…I’m sure a part of you must have frozen in shock! I agree, it is about boundaries and a professional distance must be exercised from both the patient and the nurse. If anything, remind him that that is nurse abuse and is NOT tolerated. I would report him to your charge nurse, just so they are aware that he’s a wannabe Lothario.
Comment by Vixen — September 13, 2007 @ 7:29 pm
quite difficult on your part, i agree. i hope you’ll muster the courage to tell him off. it is disturbing and once you don’t do anything about it, he will go on. try telling him for your sake.
Comment by ipanema — September 13, 2007 @ 10:23 pm
I yell, STOP when someone tries to touch me inappropriately. It’s quick, short, and to the point. You don’t owe him an explaination because he already knows that he is doing something wrong. He just doesn’t care.
Comment by Mother Jones RN — September 14, 2007 @ 1:39 am
Definitely stand up for yourself. You and your safety come first!
Comment by Zipperhead — September 14, 2007 @ 8:22 am
Every place I’ve ever worked has always had male nurses who don’t mind addressing this issue themselves if one of their female coworkers is troubled by it.
Patients like that very often behave differently towards them. Big hairy deep-voiced male nurses with prison tattoos and calloused knuckles. Works every time.
Comment by shrimplate — September 14, 2007 @ 10:38 am
I definitely agree with yourself here. Tell people if you don’t like what they are doing to you or else they’ll persist.
Comment by Ferdz — September 14, 2007 @ 8:22 pm
[…] thanks for your thoughts on my last post. you have given me ideas and courage. i told myself i will not make any excuses anymore. if something like that happens again, i will be ready. if i mess it up again, i’ll make sure you will not hear any of it here. […]
Pingback by i may be old, but deep inside, i’m still a little girl » about a nurse — September 14, 2007 @ 10:05 pm
may, i am so sorry you had this happen to you… it is so violating and shocking and sometimes hard to be IN the moment to defend yourself, when you are too busy thinking “i cant believe this patient just did that!”
i used to be a phlebotomist and i will tell you candidly, i am rather hippy. i was checking a patients arms, and as i stood in front of him, his arms were extended and on either side of me. well, HE decided, this was a fine time to get friendly, and turned his hands inwards, grabbed my hips and squeezed and kinda pulled me a little closer.
i was completely stunned, but having had an old pervert of a patient who looked at nothing but my nipple line during blood draws at an old job, i was over it. i kept doing what i was, and only raised my eyes to meet his, and i growled low and serious “you better MOVE those” but in barely a whisper. he looked a little stunned ~ and his hands flew out about 4″ from either hip.
in this case what *i* dont get is ~ i am the girl with the needle!!! do not behave like a jackass.
it is hard tho…to say something to patients…
hugs to you!
gypsy
Comment by gypsygrrl — September 19, 2007 @ 1:16 pm