i was tempted to get the camera. i wanted to show it to everybody, just to know if i was right when i thought it was the biggest poop ever. the patient himself was shocked, and got a little dizzy, when he looked at the commode. he said, and i quote: “oh. my. God!” when he  saw that he filled up half (yes, HALF!) of the commode after he sat and concentrated for about 15 minutes.

i hate to be gross and all, but i can’t get the massive sight out of my head. i had a patient before who did not go for about a week and with a little help from me, we were able to deliver a bedpan sized poop which made the poor lady cry. she said she will never forget me for the rest of her life because i was the only one who believed her when she said it just needed a little help and it will surely come out. i instructed her to push while i put pressure on her you know where, where i certainly felt what seemed like a baby’s head, trying to peek out. the bedpan sized delivery was an unsual sight, but she didn’t go for about a week, so i saw the explanation right there.

but i digress. let’s go back to the other record breaking guy. “i just went yesterday. twice”, he said. that made matters fairly ordinary, so i didn’t expect anything else. only, when i helped him to the commode, and i saw his roomate go out of the room gasping for air a couple of minutes later, i was a little surprised, to say the least.

for the sake of privacy and all that kind of thing, i successfully resisted the urge to get a picture for all my coworkers to chime in if i was right, but they heard me flush the whole gigantic thing six times. SIX times! that, and the whole unit reeking of this familiar but rather extremely strong smell convinced them i was telling the truth.

i know some of you are thinking it is none of my business how much poop a patient makes. that i should not go talking about it in the blogosphere where people can read about it and think it is scary to be my patient because i do not respect patient’s privacy. i apologize for that thought but that’s not it all. that’s not my intention. i’m actually just very curious to know if any of you have seen something like it before. half of the commode, in one sitting? and coming from an underweight guy? i mean, where did it all come from? are you telling me that if you were the one who saw it, you will not be surprised and will just take it as something very ordinary?

sorry to those who are eating breakfast. it’s just that i have seen people pee a liter or more at once, but have never seen somebody poop that much. it was literally overwhelming. the fact that the patient himself was shocked and almost fainted at the sight of his very own poop is my excuse in talking about it without a sense of guilt. and i thought i’ve seen it all. just goes to prove i still have  along way to go before i call myself “experienced”.

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our hospital is going to implement plain uniform scrubs in april. i voted for chocolate brown, but i have been hearing that navy blue is sort of winning the hospital wide survey. this early, people are already complaining. they complain about every possible color that will win. i will wear anything, except bright yellow. i have to draw the line somewhere. those who do not like chocolate brown asked me why i like it. i just thought i tell them the truth: i think it’s nice to look like a bar of hershey’s. i know, for me, it’s ALWAYS about food.

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another curious question. this time, to christian parents. do you think i overreacted when i thought it is too early for my kids to listen to the story of how isaac was supposed to be killed and offered by his dad abraham? i just thought it is a morbid story for a 4 year old and a 3 year old.

don’t get me wrong, i love it that my father in law is always willing to tell my kids Bible stories, but it honestly sort of jolted me when he talked about the father and son tandem going up mount moriah for that sacrifice. with llines like “son, you are THE lamb, God wants me to sacrifice you.”, i cringed and hoped my kids were not really paying attention. since i had no idea if i was completely right, i did not stop the storytelling, but when i think about it now, maybe i should have. do you think age is not an issue when it comes to Bible stories? do you think ANY Bible story is appropriate for all kids, of any age?

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thanks to those who scratched with me when i have the itchies just from taking care of my chickenpox lady. which, by the way, was not my patient the next time i went back to work. the charge nurse realized i had too much in my hands with two isolated patients, one being a total care with so many things going on.

have a great weekend everyone. sorry for rambling on and on and on. my rhinitis made me do it.