it is very seldom that i refuse to take a patient. very seldom.

i am fidgety and i don’t know what to expect, because i’m sure T’s husband will be all over the unit, following his wife’s nurse around like a hawk follows its prey. i’m sure he will see me, and at some point, he will realize that i am there, but i am not his wife’s nurse. i am not sure if he will go as much as to ask why, but he will never know, and i never intend to tell, in all honesty.

this may sound like a cover up to the fact that i am totally horrible, but i do not have the same energy as when i was younger. therefore, i do not have the patience of the so called saints.

last night, i came in and T was scratching the back of her head, the exact spot where she had the incision from a craniotomy done a month ago. the wound looked completely healed, and it was normal that it will occasionally itch. T’s loving husband, and i say that without any tone of sarcasm, was hovering around her asking her if she was in pain, and if her neck was bothering her. she denied any pain twice. he asked if she was uncomfortable, and she said no for the third time.

T would doze off and her husband would gently tap her shoulder to ask if she was in pain and if her neck was bothering her. this went on and on. and the discomfort moved from head, to neck, to the stomach, to the palate, to the throat…

i was called every five minutes, was told that T was complaining of severe neck pain, and that she was just plain miserable. the minute i get in the room, i will confirm the complaints with T, and automatically, T would deny it. i always value a family’s input about a patient’s complaint, because i acknowledge the fact that they are the ones who know the patients best. i value it more if the patient is confused, mentally delayed, or just not with it to be reliable.

T had episodes of confusion, times when she didn’t know where she was, what the time was, and why she was in the hospital. but, she was always reliable when it came to complaining about her physical discomfort. and i tursted and believe her own words.

it made me extremely uncomfortable that T’s husband and later her daughter, ignored every denial of pain and discomfort she said, and were in my face about not doing anything about everything. i was at a loss at why both of them would put words into my patient’s mouth when she was completely able to speak for herself.

the husband and daughter team finally told me that the only thing that will make them feel better was if we send T for a head CT. in my limited but humble opinion, there was no indication for the CT. i did not say this outloud, but i offered to get the on call doctor to talk to them, so they can request the CT for themselves.

the doctor echoed my thoughts and explained why the patient looked perfectly fine, and did not need a CT. the team was unhappy and they started lashing on all the nurses and techs in our unit, saying, and i quote: “we have met the most horrible nurses in this unit, this is our worst experience with nurses. they do not know how to take care of their patients, and they never take care of my mom/wife.”

what do i say to that statement? nothing. it was hard, but i am proud to say that i remained professional and treated my patient with the care and kindness i believed she deserved despite the negative reactions, comments, remarks made by her husband and daughter.

after their talk with the doctor, the daughter treated me like i was invisible, and the husband was quiet. before he went home at 11 pm, he caught up with me while i was charting. he started apologizing profusely, mainly he said, for “upsetting” me. i told him i was not upset, but i was placed in a position where i felt helpless. i told him i wanted so much to help them, but they were asking for things i cannot possibly do, like overrule the doctor’s decision and go ahead and take the patient down for CT, which of course was ridiculously impossible.

taking care of T was a breeze. making her husband and her daughter happy was beyond my knowledge and skills. in the interest of my sanity, i felt that the right thing to do was to refuse the patient for tonight. i feel a little bit of guilt, but i am confident i made the right decision.

it would be interesting to see them tonight, and it would be painful to watch the next nurse “victim”. i was the latest, and everybody who already experienced the fury of the daughter and encountered the undoable requests of the husband, thought i was so lucky to be spared for the longest time.

that may be true on some levels, but as of now if you ask me, i don’t really feel lucky.
i feel jittery.
i even thought of calling off.