Comments on: not sick, but TIRED

by: MP

Sat, 05 Apr 2008 23:04:36 +0000

I graduated from undergrad in 1980. I was dating a med student. I remember going to his house after a shift feeling the way you described above. I asked he and his roomates if they “worked hard” (physically, I meant). He told me “well, we walk alot”. I was dumbstruck that walking alot could be compared to what I experienced that night. Obviously if I recall this all these years later, it struck at chord. My point is although I have been a NP for 18 years, the last eight in psychiatry, I still long for and fear bedside care. The fear comes from being overwhelmed emotionally, physically and mentally and having no recourse but to “ask” for a different assignment. I have become overwhelmed in outpatient practice also, but only when I allowed someone else (insurance companies, practice managers, adminsitrators) dictate to me what I should be able to manage. It has taken great courage for me to step back and redefine what I can and can’t do based on my internal standards, rather than external. I think this is the fundamental problem with nursing. We are slaves to administrations. I remember how ANGRY I was shortly after graduation when the full reality of how I had been told over and over that I was a professional but I wasn’t treated as one dawned on me . I recently heard a definition of anger as “occuring when the person is out of control and trying to maintain an illusion of control”. Not very helpful to hear when you just want/need to whine (some one once told me that whining was anger coming out of a small hole - sorry that isn’t helpful either is it?). In order to not have to flee your profession - I strongly suggest that you, no ALL of us, work to find power to define the what, where and how much, of your care, (which sounds truely professional and exceptional) if it had not been for the slavery part. What that is for any one of us, and how able we are to do it (work part time, go back to school, change professions if necessary) is individual. I have done all except the last of that list. I contemplated the last when I am too stressed out. When I have rested and reflected I always got my zest back and resumed patient care in some capasity. I have had a lot of therapy too over the years. Why was it that I felt that I “had” to take on so much responsibility and burden. How much was it hurting me?
Now I am becoming more serious about getting nurses to be self employeed. It seems the only way for us to survive and prosper. Amen, hope you are rested.

by: MP

Sat, 05 Apr 2008 22:58:15 +0000

I graduated from undergrad in 1980. I was dating a med student. I remember going to his house after a shift feeling the way you described above. I asked he and his roomates if they “worked hard” (physically, I meant). He told me “well, we walk alot”. Obviously if I recall this all these years later, it struck at chord. My point is although I have been a NP for 18 years, the last eight in psychiatry, I still long for and fear bedside care. The fear comes from being overwhelmed emotionally, physically and mentally and having no recourse but to “ask” for a different assignment. I have become overwhelmed in outpatient practice also, but only when I allowed some one else (insurance companies, practice managers, adminsitrators) dictate to me what I should be able to manage. It has taken great courage for me to step back and redefine what I can and can’t do based on my internal standards, rather than external. I think this is the fundamental problem with nursing. We are slaves to administrations. I remember how ANGRY I was shortly after graduation when the full reality of how I had been told over and over that I was a professional but I didn’t feel like one. I recently heard a definition of anger as “occuring when the person is out of control and trying to maintain an illusion of control”. Not very helpful to hear when you just want/need to whine (some one once told me that whining was anger coming out of a small hole - sorry that isn’t helpful either is it?). In order to now have to flee your profession - I strongly suggest that you, no ALL of us, work to find power to define the what, where and how much, of your care, (which sounds truely professional and exceptional) if it had not been for the slavery part. What that is for any one of us, and how able we are to do it (work part time, go back to school, change professions if necessary) is individual. I have done all except the last of that list. I contimplate the last when I am too stressed out. When I have rested and reflected I always got my zest back and resumed patient care in some capasity. I got a lot of therapy too over the years. Why was it that I felt that I “had” to take on so much responsibility and burden. How much was it hurting me?
Now I am becoming more serious about getting nurses to be self employeed. It seems the only way for us to survive and prosper. Amen, hope you are rested.

by: Mabel

Thu, 27 Mar 2008 03:54:36 +0000

And you “only” had 3 patients…(feeling your pain)

by: Brandi

Thu, 06 Mar 2008 22:31:19 +0000

Whine Baby! Whine Baby! Whine. Sweetie there are two kinds of nurses as you already know.. Paycheck nurses and Real Nurses. For a Real Nurse the job is never done. We work so hard with very little to show at the end of the shift unlike say construction workers.. they have a building to show thier work.. it can wear at our heart and soul. Find a Stress Relief and let it go.. If writing makes it better than so be.. I like to read for 2 or 3 minutes in a quite spot , always something happy or romantic.. It brings my mood and re entergizes my body and mind.. Find your niche and go.. We are here to listen… So “Whine” your heart away!!! and remember Charma is sweet! I firmly believe in treating our patients the way we would like to be treated and you got it.. Go get a pedicure.. you deserve it..

by: PD Warrior

Wed, 05 Mar 2008 11:35:48 +0000

May, don’t ever feel guilty for the way you feel. Nursing by its very nature requires us to put up our own emotional walls in order to do our jobs effectively. The trick is not to build the wall so high that you are no longer able to see the patient - a trick that you seem to have mastered. You appear to know your own limits very well, and yet you push them to the max for the benefit of the patients you care for.

All I can say is BRAVO!

by: Jaime

Tue, 04 Mar 2008 22:20:41 +0000

This is the one thing I worry most about when considering the choice to change my major.

It’s nurses just like you who have made me want to help others. Your compassion is a medicine all of it’s own.

by: shrimplate

Mon, 03 Mar 2008 14:53:28 +0000

I’ve worked with my share of bariatric bedsore patients. The poopy ones. Sometimes even just one shift can be too much for any one nurse, even a big hefty strapping muscle-bound lass like yourself, May.

Heheheh.

If I were there, I’d help. A load like that must be shared.

by: ttt

Sun, 02 Mar 2008 04:48:45 +0000

Who made your assignment? Apparently did not put much thoughts into that. I am sorry you had a rough day. Hang in there, May. ((hugs))

by: crazyrn2be

Sun, 02 Mar 2008 02:26:19 +0000

I think your honesty is awesome. Hang in there and thanks for being such a caring nurse!

by: RehabRN

Sun, 02 Mar 2008 01:47:09 +0000

May:

I think of it this way–you have to whine (if you want to call it that) and get it out and over with. Otherwise, you end up keeping it in and carrying that baggage all over the place, into your life outside work, etc.

I try to let go of it, and I still wake up from a deep sleep thinking about things I could or should have done for patients.

Sometimes you just need a break from needy patients, even if it’s only a short one.