not sick, but TIRED
the intent of this post is to whine. big time.
if whining is not your kind of thing, you’ve been warned.
if you think i am whining because i hate my job, you are wrong.
i don’t whine everyday.
i just have to get it off my chest.
sometimes.
_________________________
the other night, i worked my butt off to the point where i was so tired, the idea of lying on the hospital floor to sleep, crossed my mind about a hundred times.
it wasn’t the kind of tired where i huffed or puffed here and there because my patients were getting sicker, but it was the kind of tired that physically and emotionally drained me. i maybe criticized for being really honest here, but there were a lot of instances when i thought and felt like i was faking being a professional, because the better word to describe what i was doing was being a SLAVE. i wound be emptying a bedpan, and inside the restroom, i would see my reflection on the mirror and feel so sorry for myself, i felt like a major loser.
i am perfectly aware that my job is to make my patients feel comfortable. i am not complaining because i am this stupid girl who didn’t know what i got into when i got into it. at work, there is nothing i want more but to make my patients feel that they are being cared for. it may sound so cliche, but i do want to make a diference in my patient’s lives by making their hospital stay least distressful.
but sometimes, certain unpredictable situations blur my ideals. the other night was one of those blurry nights. i felt used and abused. believe me, to set the record, i don’t take any of it against the patients at all. it was just a case of an imperfect list combination. i had to tell the charge nurse to break my list for the next shift because i could not bear to picture the AM nurse going through what i went through that night.
patient A was our 589 pounds male who had multiple wounds on his buttocks and was having severe diarrhea. i started the shift cleaning him. since everybody was busy, and i can’t wait to clean him, i tried the routine of pushing his leg to the other side to help him turn. i felt or maybe imagined my lower back made that little crackly sound when it is strained. he pooped four times, making me change his dressing twice, which each time, takes about 20-30 minutes.
patient B was a 400 plus pounds lady who was having asthma exacerbation, and for some reason, had the urge to pee every two hours or so. both her feet were bothering her, and she was not very stable. i would help her to the commode, clean her, and help her back to bed.
patient C was a two post C-section young woman who developed DVT and just had a filter placed. scared to move and just about everything going on, she was calling every 15 minutes, literally. i had to assist her pump her very uncomfortable engorged breast every 3 hours, i had to put her on a bed pan very often. her temperature was off the roof and she would be very cold one minute and be very warm the next. a number of times, i was called to either add or take off a blanket, change her gown, wipe her sweat, chnage her sheets.
the whole night, i was practically helping one of my patients, that the only time i get to catch my breath was when i would chart and get pain medications that they all want on a regular basis.
on the verge of tears, relieved that the shift was over, i talked to the morning charge nurse that i cannot have the same list when i go back the next night. i told him that it was not because it was a hard list, it was just a bad combination. what i didn’t tell him was that on top of being so exhausted, i have also worn myself out emotionally, by getting very invoved with my patients’ specific situations.
while dressing patient’s A’s wound, i would stop and feel so bad about how his young life is almost nonexistent because of his weight. just barely out of his teens, but confined to a bed like that, unable to even reach his own penis to put it in the urinal because of the size of his thighs. i was disheartened to see him eating a hamburger obviously sneaked in by his mom even when they were strictly instructed he was not allowed to eat food from outside. as a person who is struggling to lose a tiny fraction of the weight he needs to lose, i can only imagine his desperation and i know exactly why he is almost giving up. but as a mother, i feel for his mom too. i mean, his poor mother was understandably unable to bear the fact that he was getting weak, since he didn’t like any of the hospital food and was just trying to survive on liquids. i knew she meant well. the whole thing was just so sad.
when patient C would start wheezing, i had to shake my head off to erase the scene i see in my head. i have asthma, and when i say i know exactly how scary and uncomfortable it is to have that attack that might be your last, i know exactly what i am talking about.
numerous times, patient C cried about the possiblity of dying, and her fear that her kids would grow up without their mom. sobbing, she would often talk about ” my little girl is lucky you know, at least she hasn’t really known me yet. how about my three year old? he has been asking…” since i have my own 5 and 3 year old boys, and also having experienced C-section twice, it is a given why i totally feel patient C’s fears and pains.
after talking to the morning charge nurse, all was set and i was ready to go, the morning nurse asked for help to set up the breast pump. i had to go to the room for the last time. patient C asked me if i was coming back. i knew where the conversation was going, but i cannot lie to her. she wanted me back.
the truth is, there was a part of me that wanted so badly to refuse her request. i was too drained and just cannot do it for another night. but, i didn’t have the heart to say no. thing was, patient B was her roomate, and if i take her back, i had to take them both. even when i knew it was the right thing, my heart was kind of heavy when i talked to the AM charge nurse again to chnage my request and just give me both patients B and C back. i felt guilty for leaving patient A out, but it was the best i can come up with.
last night was not as tiring because i only got patient C back. i didn’t get to talk to the AM charge nurse about his decision, but i was grateful. the only downside was that it was awkward to hear patient B indirectly making me feel guilty by saying stuff like “last night was better…” every time i was helping patient C.
the dramas of being a nurse!
this is why i have no time to watch soap.
my work makes me experience more drama than i can ever take.
sometimes. just sometimes.


next time you look in the mirror may, i hope you see what many of us see…a caring and compassionate nurse.
you’re a good person and it’s okay to whine…your job is emotionally draining….
keep your chin up…
Comment by kimmyk — March 1, 2008 @ 3:47 am
As kimmyk said you are a caring and compassionate nurste. It’s your blog, you are allowed to whinge when you want to.
Hugs from across the pond.
Comment by Vanda — March 1, 2008 @ 4:27 am
I’m sorry things got so bad, May. But you know, considering the difficulties these patients faced, they couldn’t have had a better nurse.
Comment by Sid Leavitt — March 1, 2008 @ 9:32 am
I can feel with you, it gets though sometimes. You are one of the most compassionate people I “know”.
There is no need to feel guilty. There is only so much giving a person can do, and if it doesn’t help anybody to get completely burned out.
This is not whining!!!
Comment by annemiek — March 1, 2008 @ 5:20 pm
May:
I think of it this way–you have to whine (if you want to call it that) and get it out and over with. Otherwise, you end up keeping it in and carrying that baggage all over the place, into your life outside work, etc.
I try to let go of it, and I still wake up from a deep sleep thinking about things I could or should have done for patients.
Sometimes you just need a break from needy patients, even if it’s only a short one.
Comment by RehabRN — March 1, 2008 @ 5:47 pm
I think your honesty is awesome. Hang in there and thanks for being such a caring nurse!
Comment by crazyrn2be — March 1, 2008 @ 6:26 pm
Who made your assignment? Apparently did not put much thoughts into that. I am sorry you had a rough day. Hang in there, May. ((hugs))
Comment by ttt — March 1, 2008 @ 8:48 pm
I’ve worked with my share of bariatric bedsore patients. The poopy ones. Sometimes even just one shift can be too much for any one nurse, even a big hefty strapping muscle-bound lass like yourself, May.
Heheheh.
If I were there, I’d help. A load like that must be shared.
Comment by shrimplate — March 3, 2008 @ 6:53 am
This is the one thing I worry most about when considering the choice to change my major.
It’s nurses just like you who have made me want to help others. Your compassion is a medicine all of it’s own.
Comment by Jaime — March 4, 2008 @ 2:20 pm
May, don’t ever feel guilty for the way you feel. Nursing by its very nature requires us to put up our own emotional walls in order to do our jobs effectively. The trick is not to build the wall so high that you are no longer able to see the patient - a trick that you seem to have mastered. You appear to know your own limits very well, and yet you push them to the max for the benefit of the patients you care for.
All I can say is BRAVO!
Comment by PD Warrior — March 5, 2008 @ 3:35 am
Whine Baby! Whine Baby! Whine. Sweetie there are two kinds of nurses as you already know.. Paycheck nurses and Real Nurses. For a Real Nurse the job is never done. We work so hard with very little to show at the end of the shift unlike say construction workers.. they have a building to show thier work.. it can wear at our heart and soul. Find a Stress Relief and let it go.. If writing makes it better than so be.. I like to read for 2 or 3 minutes in a quite spot , always something happy or romantic.. It brings my mood and re entergizes my body and mind.. Find your niche and go.. We are here to listen… So “Whine” your heart away!!! and remember Charma is sweet! I firmly believe in treating our patients the way we would like to be treated and you got it.. Go get a pedicure.. you deserve it..
Comment by Brandi — March 6, 2008 @ 2:31 pm
And you “only” had 3 patients…(feeling your pain)
Comment by Mabel — March 26, 2008 @ 7:54 pm
I graduated from undergrad in 1980. I was dating a med student. I remember going to his house after a shift feeling the way you described above. I asked he and his roomates if they “worked hard” (physically, I meant). He told me “well, we walk alot”. Obviously if I recall this all these years later, it struck at chord. My point is although I have been a NP for 18 years, the last eight in psychiatry, I still long for and fear bedside care. The fear comes from being overwhelmed emotionally, physically and mentally and having no recourse but to “ask” for a different assignment. I have become overwhelmed in outpatient practice also, but only when I allowed some one else (insurance companies, practice managers, adminsitrators) dictate to me what I should be able to manage. It has taken great courage for me to step back and redefine what I can and can’t do based on my internal standards, rather than external. I think this is the fundamental problem with nursing. We are slaves to administrations. I remember how ANGRY I was shortly after graduation when the full reality of how I had been told over and over that I was a professional but I didn’t feel like one. I recently heard a definition of anger as “occuring when the person is out of control and trying to maintain an illusion of control”. Not very helpful to hear when you just want/need to whine (some one once told me that whining was anger coming out of a small hole - sorry that isn’t helpful either is it?). In order to now have to flee your profession - I strongly suggest that you, no ALL of us, work to find power to define the what, where and how much, of your care, (which sounds truely professional and exceptional) if it had not been for the slavery part. What that is for any one of us, and how able we are to do it (work part time, go back to school, change professions if necessary) is individual. I have done all except the last of that list. I contimplate the last when I am too stressed out. When I have rested and reflected I always got my zest back and resumed patient care in some capasity. I got a lot of therapy too over the years. Why was it that I felt that I “had” to take on so much responsibility and burden. How much was it hurting me?
Now I am becoming more serious about getting nurses to be self employeed. It seems the only way for us to survive and prosper. Amen, hope you are rested.
Comment by MP — April 5, 2008 @ 2:58 pm
I graduated from undergrad in 1980. I was dating a med student. I remember going to his house after a shift feeling the way you described above. I asked he and his roomates if they “worked hard” (physically, I meant). He told me “well, we walk alot”. I was dumbstruck that walking alot could be compared to what I experienced that night. Obviously if I recall this all these years later, it struck at chord. My point is although I have been a NP for 18 years, the last eight in psychiatry, I still long for and fear bedside care. The fear comes from being overwhelmed emotionally, physically and mentally and having no recourse but to “ask” for a different assignment. I have become overwhelmed in outpatient practice also, but only when I allowed someone else (insurance companies, practice managers, adminsitrators) dictate to me what I should be able to manage. It has taken great courage for me to step back and redefine what I can and can’t do based on my internal standards, rather than external. I think this is the fundamental problem with nursing. We are slaves to administrations. I remember how ANGRY I was shortly after graduation when the full reality of how I had been told over and over that I was a professional but I wasn’t treated as one dawned on me . I recently heard a definition of anger as “occuring when the person is out of control and trying to maintain an illusion of control”. Not very helpful to hear when you just want/need to whine (some one once told me that whining was anger coming out of a small hole - sorry that isn’t helpful either is it?). In order to not have to flee your profession - I strongly suggest that you, no ALL of us, work to find power to define the what, where and how much, of your care, (which sounds truely professional and exceptional) if it had not been for the slavery part. What that is for any one of us, and how able we are to do it (work part time, go back to school, change professions if necessary) is individual. I have done all except the last of that list. I contemplated the last when I am too stressed out. When I have rested and reflected I always got my zest back and resumed patient care in some capasity. I have had a lot of therapy too over the years. Why was it that I felt that I “had” to take on so much responsibility and burden. How much was it hurting me?
Now I am becoming more serious about getting nurses to be self employeed. It seems the only way for us to survive and prosper. Amen, hope you are rested.
Comment by MP — April 5, 2008 @ 3:04 pm