February, 2008 Archive

the nurses all agreed on one thing:
they don’t want the white uniforms!
they dislike it with a passion.

the solid scrubs got a number of nods and the uniformity in color of the scrubs got nods both from nurses and patients. funky prints are okay for peds, but quite a no no for adults.

and some don’t really care as long as nurses are professional.

THANK YOU SO MUCH for all your comments about this on going issue.  those who didn’t want to comment in the blog but emailed me their inputs, the same gratitude goes to you!

i guess i’m as kiss ass as one of my coworkers say, but i really do not mind the change. the hospital will reimburse a portion our expenses for the uniforms. they gave us enough time to prepare for the change. i think their reason for requiring the change is valid and reasonable. i’m sure i’ll miss my cute printed scrubs sometimes, but i am not against the uniform requirement at all. if they start requiring us to wear the same underwear, that will be the time they will really hear from me.

and not to provoke those who hate the white uniform, i honestly do not mind wearing them again. i wore white uniforms and a cap for years before i came here, and not that i just want to oppose everyone, but it wasn’t really that bad. for some reasons, there are days that i actually miss those whites, and how patients commented that we looked like angels. i know…i sound like some crazy florence nightingale wannabe or something. but not really, i’m just weird.

in our unit, people have been divided. there are those who were so excited about the change, they have been wearing the required color for weeks now. i think the memo was sent late november, and will be implemented this friday, but when you start talking about it, opinions always keep on coming.

we were told that a lot of patients complained about not knowing who was who. this was a valid complaint because a couple of years ago, we all wore scrubs of our own liking. from some doctors, to nurses, to PCAs, to venipunctures, to housekeepers. the hospital tried to fix it by requiring housekeepers to have a uniform. that quite solved the housekeeper problem, but then the PCAs kept getting requests from patients assuming they were RNs. so the hospital fixed it by requiring PCAs to wear the light blue scrubs only. still, there were confusions that led to complaints.

this is supposed to be the final straw. we have gone through the badge with RN, a button with our name and “RN” on it, boards in the patient’s room with the RN’s and PCA’s name on it, a board near the entrance with our room assignments and pictures on it, we diligently tell the patients we are their nurses….still…there are complaints about not knowing who is who.

i can only imagine the hospital administrators scratching their heads, being at their wit’s end in trying to fix this issue, and this seems to be the last resort. whatever happens after this still remains to be seen, but if patients complain even after this, what’s next?

as i said, i am all for anything that will benefit the patient. the only thing that is obvious to me is that there will always be a reason to complain. for example, i ALWAYS start my shift with introducing myself and telling my patients i am their nurse. if the PCA is there, i also tell them about the PCA. i have my badge with my name and “RN” on it…still, when a doctor in scrub or any tech in scrub is in the room patients or families will still approach them and request something assuming they are their nurse.

i don’t expect patients to memorize everybody’s name, designation, or even face, that is an unreasonable expectation.

what sort of irks me is that some people can find just about anything to complain no matter what. this is probably a digression from the uniform topic, but considering it all started with the patients complaining, i guess my point is that no matter what we wear, some patients or family members will always find something to complain about. just like some people don’t really care what we wear as long as we do our job professionally.

what is it they say about the coin?
oh, that it always has two sides.

death was certain, and she implied she was ready.

she signed the DNR form herself, because with stage IV lung cancer, she knew there was no way out. taking it even further, she requested to be left alone with a nasal cannula, even when her breathing gets really worse. she said she refused the face mask and nobody can force her to use it because it was her right to decide what she wanted.

she verbally denied any pain despite obvious clinical signs that she was in severe or at least moderate pain. she reasoned she didn’t want any morphine because it was morphine overdose that accidentally hastened the death of an aunt and an uncle.

i thought it would be cruel to just watch and not do something. to see a dying patient desperately gasp for air and just stand there was almost unthinkable. i mean, the least i can do is make them feel comfortable, but if she didn’t want to be comfortable and she was mentally stable enough to express that desire, what right did i have to impose what i wanted?

i prepared for a long night. i tried to reason and wrestle with my personal demons. i tried to convince myself that death, at this time, must be welcomed.

“can…you…stay?”

it was 0100 in the morning and her saturation was on the high 70s. each breath was a struggle and her lack of oxygen was beginning to cause panic. i reached for her hand and sat on her bed. whatever i did to prepare myself for this, did not really sink in. i wanted her to stay, and i was scared for her, but i tried to hide it.

“i’m sorry…i’m scared….”

i told her she didn’t have to talk. not only because talking made her gasp for more air, but also because i realized i was not emotionally ready to wrap up a dead body. besides, if i was dying and was all alone, i would be extremely scared too. i didn’t even know if any of her loved ones knew. all of a sudden, Japan seemed so far away.

i don’t know. maybe i was just trying to rationalize my selfish thoughts. 
isn’t it amazing how selfishness can rear its ugly head even at times of dying?

it was cold, i was unsettled.
she might have been ready, but i wasn’t.
the irony was chilling.

i sighed when the number started going up. she started to relax and then dozed off. i stayed for a while longer. when i was sure she was asleep, i slowly pulled my hand, but it woke her up.

“thank you.”

i didn’t say a thing but in my head i said thanks to her. i wasn’t ready, and somehow, for some bizarre reasons, she respected that. or death respected that.

in the morning, i told her i was going, and i just dropped by to say goodbye. “for the last time”, i told myself.

“you’ll be back tonight, right?”

i told her i won’t be.

“you’re quitting?”

i told her i would be off for four days and joked that i was not allowed to quit. then, i was quiet.

she looked away. i assumed she heard clearly, even when the words were left unspoken…
i will not see her when i come back, and my goodbye was final.

she reached for my hand, and i reached for hers. i didn’t say a thing, but when i gently pressed her hand and she weakly pressed mine back, we both knew we were done with our goodbyes.

i marveled.
at the power of touch,
and the power of silence.

i left the room relieved.
the irony was still chilling,
but the certainty of death was almost calming.

everybody has an opinion. mine is not really grand or extraordinary, so i always keep quiet. i really do not have very strong feelings or thoughts about it, but the topic fascinates me and i am curious as to what other people, especially patients, think.

next week, the hospital wide uniform requirement will be implemented. no specific pattern, but the same colors. navy blue for RNs, gray for RTs, hunter green for PCAs, monitor techs, and unit secretaries, etc.

one said it is totally BS that we are required to wear uniform because it will make us look unprofessional. one said it is a violation of our rights to be creative and unique. somebody said it is extremely boring that everybody looks the same and we will end up losing our identity. one said it is only the beginning, because one can just imagine what the administrator will require us to do next. somebody even said that it is ridiculous because now, if a patient is pissed off with one nurse he/she doesn’t know, the nurse will be described as the one wearing navy, and guess what, everybody is wearing navy!

on and on and on…but i’m sure other nurses or hospital workers have other opinions. do tell me, i’m curious…what do you think about a uniform requirement?

we were told that this requirement is for the benefit of the patients. that’s what they say, but for more than 5 years that i have worked here, nobody has ever complained about my scrubs. there were instances when female patients would say my scrubs was “really pretty” or “really cute”. i’m sure they kept quiet when they thought it was hideous, but i always assumed that if it totally affected them in a negative way, they will speak out, but no one has really freaked out about anybody’s printed, multi-colored scrubs.

i do understand where the administration is coming from, but i really want to hear it straight from the horse’s mouth, so….

if you have been a patient, or a family member has been a patient, what do you think about hospital staff wearing uniform scrubs? did it bother you when you had a nurse or a PCA wearing sponge bob, “i love lucy”, snoopy, or floral printed scrubs in striking or exciting colors? did it affect your healing process? was your attitude influenced by what we were wearing? were you more compliant or uncooperative just because our scrubs was either offensive or delightful?

does it really matter to you what we wear?
do you really mind?
do you think it makes any difference?
do you think our scrubs influenced you or your hospital experience directly or indirectly?

please chime in. any input will be appreciated.
thank you.

overheard: “did you notice that there are a LOT of kids on this cruise? i wonder if there is a way to find out before you book a ticket about the number of kids that will be on board. i definitely want to go with the one with the least number of kids next time…”

i’m just saying…it’s like hearing patients say they don’t want to come back to the hospital because there are a LOT of sick people there. besides, what is wrong with the kids? made me think if that lady was ever a kid before she was a grown up….

amazing how pharmacy sales clerk in mexico stand outside the store, and yell out promos on amoxicillin, nexium, etc. they then add the free viagra on top of any purchase. just when i thought it is amazing that we can get almost anything from pharmacies in the philippines without a prescription, this yelling out of meds and giving out free viagra and cialis blew my mind.

anyway, we had fun. and just like any emotional eater, i binged till my stomach can’t take it anymore. i guess it is safe to say that cruising is not an ideal vacation for food addicts like me. free food was in abundance, and i was so happy with the simple fact that for five straight days we were all together, all i can think about was what to eat next.

back to work on monday. meanwhile, let me bloghop and see what’s going on…