just another day in the thing called life
in the past 2 years, she lost over 100 pounds.
the old fashioned way. meaning, she committed to a portion controlled diet, and, she exercised regularly. things were looking up. she felt good about herself, she gained that confidence and self belief that she can do anything if only she puts her heart, body, and soul into it. shedding the excess weight that everybody said threatened her health and her chance in life over all, made her feel secure.
then, out of nowhere, pancreatic cancer. what started as a sudden severe abdominal pain led to the big C. probably the latest stage, with the prospect of death obviously very tangible.
somewhere between the silence and the physical effort of taking in air, even without words, i heard her say that sometimes, life can be really unpredictably unfair. and THAT sucks.
i didn’t say it outloud, but yes, i agreed with her.
it’s like being sober for a year, getting comfortable with the fact that you have done your best to preserve your health and make it better, then being killed in a bizarre car accident that makes no sense.
i totally agreed with her unspoken words. which i’m sure she understood when i stood there in silence, looking at her without anything profound to say.
Sometimes there just aren’t enough words.
Comment by Kj — May 13, 2008 @ 4:37 pm
maybe, just maybe even before she decided to turn her life around the big C was already inevitable because of her previous health decisions
Comment by rygel — May 14, 2008 @ 1:57 am
Yes, life is certainly unfair. Would you have thought this if she had not lost all that weight “the old fashioned way”, which, as you imply is the only respectable way to lose weight?
May, you are such a thoughtful and understanding person that I couldn’t keep quiet on that comment. What you are implying is that methods for weight loss outside of the traditional “will power” of diet and exercise don’t count. Surgical weight loss is a tool used to enhance diet and exercise, particularly when diet and exercise have failed over and over for the person. Many think it’s an easy way out, that it’s cheating, but you can’t go and have bariatric surgery and continue to over-eat and sit on your butt.
If this woman had lost that 100 pounds with bariatric surgery, she would have still put in the same effort to have a healthier lifestyle; getting cancer would have sucked just as much.
Comment by Labor Nurse — May 14, 2008 @ 5:52 am
labor nurse: i said it because that’s what she said. there is no implication of anything in the statement, other than the fact that it was what she said. i am aware that ANY kind of weight loss program is difficult, and anybody who tries, decides, and sticks to the commitment to lose weight should be admired.
i did not think of anything else about the way she said it because i assumed the context of what she said was the idea that after all her hard work, trying to get healthy, she will just have cancer after all, and will eventually die. i am further assuming that if she had surgery to lose the excess weight, she will say exactly the same thing, considering the meaning of what she really feels. it’s just like saying: “what was the point?”
maybe if i started the second paragraph with “she said she did it” it would have been clearer. i won’t edit it, but yeah, that’s what it’s supposed to be. thank you for expressing your thought. i appreciate your honesty and i understand what you mean. i apologize if the the way i related this the story made you feel uncomfortable. that is not the intention of this post.
Comment by may — May 14, 2008 @ 6:45 am
If I were in the same situation, I would have said the same thing. Oh well, that’s life sometimes. They just hit you when you least expect it.
Comment by Ferdz — May 14, 2008 @ 7:39 am
May, I knew that the intention of your post wasn’t a weight loss focus, but that isn’t it a horrible irony that a woman changes her life in a healthy way to end up with a terminal cancer. But, I guess it just struck me in a personal way; perhaps I am defensive whenever I hear about weight loss.
Comment by Labor Nurse — May 14, 2008 @ 8:47 am
labor nurse: believe me, i do understand where you are coming from on this one. i have personal issues with losing weight and am always extremely sensitive whenever anything related to weight, specifically being overweight is discussed. i assure you, i would have been uncomfortable if in any way i have sensed that the patient implied she was discriminating against surgical weight loss procedures. although if i needed one i will not go this route due to fear of things going wrong, i absolutely salute those who choose to do it because i know it is equally difficult.
i hope i made it clearer that we are not on opposing sides here. on the contrary, we are on the same page. thank you again for sharing your thoughts.
Comment by may — May 14, 2008 @ 8:04 pm
life sucks sometimes but you’ve got to live with it.
Comment by Zee — May 16, 2008 @ 8:15 am
One of my favorite sayings is, “life is a bitch and then you die.”
Comment by Melissa — May 17, 2008 @ 10:18 am
It’s hard to know what to say. Every once in awhile a patient who is very ill, or dying will say to me, “I want to die.” I haven’t come up with a good answer for them. I guess sometimes being with them, and caring about them, doing what you can, has to be enough. Hopefully it makes a difference.
Comment by Awake In Rochester — May 18, 2008 @ 4:56 am