July, 2008 Archive

“i don’t want to talk to her.”

i looked at her.

“she’s. an. idiot.”

i just kept looking at her.

“sorry, but she is.”

i wonder what she would have said of i told her what the doctor she was calling an idiot said about her. i admit i was tempted to spill it, just to provoke her and watch what happens next. i decided against it because it was late, and honestly, it was not the kind of drama i wanted to be a part of.

despite the lack of elaborate explanation, i’m pretty sure you can imagine how the supposed idiotic physician felt about her back biter. she was quiet in front of her, but i know what she said. it wasn’t pretty, and i have witnesses.

i don’t know what it is, but i find it very amusing that SOME doctors who hate each other’s guts and so called stupidity have no qualms whatsoever in lashing out their opinion about each other in front of us nurses. God forbid that they will be called frank and/or rude, they are completely civil in front of each other. nodding and saying okay like they mean it in front of each other, holding back like some temperate beings terrified of saying what they really think. 

when left alone with the nurses, the one sided war begins, and their true colors surface.

i never ask, but it usually makes me think that other than the obvious motive of venting, they also expect us to pick a side and agree with whoever is talking. it fascinates me that even though they are more powerful than me in a lot of ways, they sort of value the approval i can possibly utter when circumstances like this occur. or, it equally amuses me that  they thrive on the false ego boost this kind of thing can bring by belittling their fellow doctors.

would it gratify any of them if i declare their being correct and join the bashing behind the other one’s back? or would it aggravate them if i oppose their declarations and defend the one who is unavailable to defend himself? clearly, a game is being played here. what is unclear is the fact that both sides could be losers. or winners. if it’s not a game, why don’t they keep their mouths shut?

when i think about it, it’s sort of childish. but, when you look at it in a different angle however, it probably is the exact definition of professionalism. who am i to really know?

anyway, as a patient, this little piece of information is not that trivial. it may, or may not be helpful to you.

it could make you realize that your doctors are humans too. that just like you, they love playing games too. then, you will really listen to them, and be more compliant.

or, it could make you cringe at some of the words that they say about each other when the curtains are pulled, and when they assume you’re oblivious to it all. then, you will really listen to them, and be more compliant.

hopefully.

i won’t say i was offended, but there was something about the whole thing that rubbed me the wrong way.

i watched the movie “nanny diaries” on dvd a few days ago. if you didn’t watch it, in the movie, the main character’s mother was a nurse. she worked hard, “extra shifts” she said so that her daughter can have a better life, unlike hers.

i suppose there is nothing worth discussing about in that idea, because it could simply mean something general about parents…that we all want our kids to have a better life.

it was the tone and the way the line was delivered that made me imagine things. did they (the writer and/or the actress) want to imply that nursing is an inferior profession, and if we knew any better we should not encourage our children to become nurses? also, that it is a shame to have kids who will follow our footsteps because as nurses we already have crappy jobs, why inflict the same suffering to our children?

it could have been my raging hormones that made me so senselessly sensitive about a trivial thing. or it could be that it truly is the general concept of nurses out there. i don’t know about other nurses, all i know is, if my kids want to become nurses, i will be a very proud mother.

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just a quick response to my previous post’s question by seaspray: the patient wasn’t assigned to me. all i knew was that he had a stroke. occasionally confused, with left sided weakness, but had all the strength to take care of business with his right hand.

after working here in the US for almost 6 years, patients masturbating do not shock me anymore. when they feel the urge, they just have to do it. and in all honesty, i totally get why they just don’t bother to conceal the activity anymore. there is no way they can have privacy in the hospital, so if they wait for the perfect time, it will never come.

coming from a country where culture strongly discourages people from publicly confirming the fact that they have sexual needs, the first time i accidentally caught a patient meeting his needs at work, i can’t get over it for weeks. i am not a prude, it was just a culture thing. now, like many others, i irreverently turn the scene into an inside joke, warning the oncoming nurse not to get alarmed if the patient’s heart rate goes up, and a suppressed but still identifiable sort of sound is heard from the room.

and theresa, i assumed it went through the foley.

a fellow nurse, genuinely concerned about her blatantly-in-your-face masturbating patient, asked me:

“how is he going to ejaculate with that really big foley on?”

how indeed.

the past week was a blur.

it started when the hands free driving law took effect on the first day of the month. i guess i can say it was all downhill from there, but it’s not that bad really. it’s just the whirlwind of beginnings.

first day of school for the kindergarten, first day of preschool for the younger one. although i have resisted the urge to make a really big deal out of it and only ended up bringing my camera, other parents weren’t so successful. aside from the hidden tears, there was an abundance of video cameras rolling.

the thing about milestones is, for women, it is always associated with tears. the kids were both excited and apprehensive to start school, but they were not overly emotional. so unlike their mother. my husband, who shared the same sentiments, looked way cooler because although his voiced cracked when he said “i can’t believe this is real”, (THIS meaning the fact that our sons are not our babies anymore) he still managed to be tear free.

me? well, i was in the corner, drying my tears with the back of my hand, fighting back the ones that threatened to continue to fall. all this drama for something i already knew was coming. even before they were born.

anyway, one thing i have perfected since i got pregnant was the art of worrying about the kids. just like a perfectly paranoid mother, i imagine the worst possible scenarios that are ridiculously insane. for example, when i picked up my eldest on the third day of school, he told me he has a new friend, a girl named tiffany. if my insanity got the better of me, i was gonna forbid him to talk to her again, because who knows? what if? what if she will be the one who will break his heart?

then, he came home yesterday, telling me he has another friend, named nompen. what will he do with my son? will he give him his first cigarette? or drugs? what?

goodness, when it comes to the kids and their future, there is no end to the imagined suffering i inflict on myself by constantly worrying about all kinds of things. especially those that i have no control whatsoever. of all the things i’ve mastered, this is something i can almost have a PhD of. May, doctor of worries.

anyway, when i started this post, i was planning on blogging about the new interns experiences this past week. it’s hard to believe that i barely noticed it is july already. thankfully, the fresh but lost looking interns reminded me that it is july indeed. i guess i’ll just have to talk about them next time.