“i don’t want to talk to her.”

i looked at her.

“she’s. an. idiot.”

i just kept looking at her.

“sorry, but she is.”

i wonder what she would have said of i told her what the doctor she was calling an idiot said about her. i admit i was tempted to spill it, just to provoke her and watch what happens next. i decided against it because it was late, and honestly, it was not the kind of drama i wanted to be a part of.

despite the lack of elaborate explanation, i’m pretty sure you can imagine how the supposed idiotic physician felt about her back biter. she was quiet in front of her, but i know what she said. it wasn’t pretty, and i have witnesses.

i don’t know what it is, but i find it very amusing that SOME doctors who hate each other’s guts and so called stupidity have no qualms whatsoever in lashing out their opinion about each other in front of us nurses. God forbid that they will be called frank and/or rude, they are completely civil in front of each other. nodding and saying okay like they mean it in front of each other, holding back like some temperate beings terrified of saying what they really think. 

when left alone with the nurses, the one sided war begins, and their true colors surface.

i never ask, but it usually makes me think that other than the obvious motive of venting, they also expect us to pick a side and agree with whoever is talking. it fascinates me that even though they are more powerful than me in a lot of ways, they sort of value the approval i can possibly utter when circumstances like this occur. or, it equally amuses me that  they thrive on the false ego boost this kind of thing can bring by belittling their fellow doctors.

would it gratify any of them if i declare their being correct and join the bashing behind the other one’s back? or would it aggravate them if i oppose their declarations and defend the one who is unavailable to defend himself? clearly, a game is being played here. what is unclear is the fact that both sides could be losers. or winners. if it’s not a game, why don’t they keep their mouths shut?

when i think about it, it’s sort of childish. but, when you look at it in a different angle however, it probably is the exact definition of professionalism. who am i to really know?

anyway, as a patient, this little piece of information is not that trivial. it may, or may not be helpful to you.

it could make you realize that your doctors are humans too. that just like you, they love playing games too. then, you will really listen to them, and be more compliant.

or, it could make you cringe at some of the words that they say about each other when the curtains are pulled, and when they assume you’re oblivious to it all. then, you will really listen to them, and be more compliant.

hopefully.