Comments on: the killer question http://www.aboutanurse.com/2008/07/the-killer-question.html a nurse blog. Tue, 02 Dec 2008 13:03:27 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.0.7 by: Keith http://www.aboutanurse.com/2008/07/the-killer-question.html#comment-80712 Sat, 19 Jul 2008 20:41:15 +0000 http://www.aboutanurse.com/2008/07/the-killer-question.html#comment-80712 I think we all take "ownership" of patients and their successes and failures, often to a degree that we hurt ourselves in the process. It is a phenomenon that is common among nurses---perhaps because empathy and caring is such a part and parcel of why we become nurses in the first place. I think we all take “ownership” of patients and their successes and failures, often to a degree that we hurt ourselves in the process. It is a phenomenon that is common among nurses—perhaps because empathy and caring is such a part and parcel of why we become nurses in the first place.

]]> by: newgradnurse http://www.aboutanurse.com/2008/07/the-killer-question.html#comment-80379 Sun, 13 Jul 2008 19:35:38 +0000 http://www.aboutanurse.com/2008/07/the-killer-question.html#comment-80379 having attended lots and lots of codes, I know that I take it very personal and very hard if the code is my patient. Codes in general do not phase me. My patient coding makes me crazy with worries and also a bit of territorial issues. I'm very protective of my patients. I can't imagine doing dialysis and having a patient code because it is such an invasive procedure to the body. I would think that a machine glitche or miscalculation could be to blame, but I don't know much about dialysis. Nurses all know that she'll only grow from this experience. Great post. www.callacode.blogspot.com having attended lots and lots of codes, I know that I take it very personal and very hard if the code is my patient. Codes in general do not phase me. My patient coding makes me crazy with worries and also a bit of territorial issues. I’m very protective of my patients. I can’t imagine doing dialysis and having a patient code because it is such an invasive procedure to the body. I would think that a machine glitche or miscalculation could be to blame, but I don’t know much about dialysis. Nurses all know that she’ll only grow from this experience.
Great post.

www.callacode.blogspot.com

]]> by: Theresa http://www.aboutanurse.com/2008/07/the-killer-question.html#comment-80132 Wed, 09 Jul 2008 16:50:32 +0000 http://www.aboutanurse.com/2008/07/the-killer-question.html#comment-80132 I work on L&D and the shock is the same when we do a stat c-section and wind up losing the baby or, God forbid, the mom. We will always wonder what we did wrong without giving ourselves credit for the million little and big things we do right. We can't have any more responsibility than to have someone's life in our hands and when it goes bad we assume total responsibility for the outcome. Its overwhelming. I work on L&D and the shock is the same when we do a stat c-section and wind up losing the baby or, God forbid, the mom. We will always wonder what we did wrong without giving ourselves credit for the million little and big things we do right. We can’t have any more responsibility than to have someone’s life in our hands and when it goes bad we assume total responsibility for the outcome. Its overwhelming.

]]> by: Prisca http://www.aboutanurse.com/2008/07/the-killer-question.html#comment-80129 Wed, 09 Jul 2008 14:14:35 +0000 http://www.aboutanurse.com/2008/07/the-killer-question.html#comment-80129 wow, great post... i know i take everything that goes wrong w/ my pt's personally. i guess i believe my job as a nurse is to "fix it" no matter what "it" is. how unrealistic is that???? wow, great post…

i know i take everything that goes wrong w/ my pt’s personally. i guess i believe my job as a nurse is to “fix it” no matter what “it” is.

how unrealistic is that????

]]> by: Veronica http://www.aboutanurse.com/2008/07/the-killer-question.html#comment-80096 Wed, 09 Jul 2008 01:38:28 +0000 http://www.aboutanurse.com/2008/07/the-killer-question.html#comment-80096 I'm echoing other sentiments expressed here. I had no idea nurses go through this. 30 minutes is a huge amount of time for your adrenaline to be pumping that hard, I can't even imagine. I'm in awe of you. I’m echoing other sentiments expressed here.
I had no idea nurses go through this.
30 minutes is a huge amount of time for your adrenaline to be pumping that hard, I can’t even imagine.
I’m in awe of you.

]]> by: Citronella http://www.aboutanurse.com/2008/07/the-killer-question.html#comment-80092 Wed, 09 Jul 2008 00:45:58 +0000 http://www.aboutanurse.com/2008/07/the-killer-question.html#comment-80092 I think it is a more general phenomenon which is true of more than nurses and more than health care people. It's probably due to the fact that you consider that your job (or, more likely, your duty) is to make people go better. If they do, you think you've just done your job/duty. If they don't, you think you've failed. I'm a pretty good IT geek, which means that nobody is so crazy as to put their lives between my hands, but I nevertheless would feel like I've failed if someone came to die while I was dialing 911 (which is about the most I can do in terms of trying to save someone's life.) I think it is a more general phenomenon which is true of more than nurses and more than health care people.
It’s probably due to the fact that you consider that your job (or, more likely, your duty) is to make people go better. If they do, you think you’ve just done your job/duty. If they don’t, you think you’ve failed.

I’m a pretty good IT geek, which means that nobody is so crazy as to put their lives between my hands, but I nevertheless would feel like I’ve failed if someone came to die while I was dialing 911 (which is about the most I can do in terms of trying to save someone’s life.)

]]> by: Kj http://www.aboutanurse.com/2008/07/the-killer-question.html#comment-80086 Tue, 08 Jul 2008 23:23:35 +0000 http://www.aboutanurse.com/2008/07/the-killer-question.html#comment-80086 Its simple... It is because we are human... It is as simple as that. When things are good we see them as normal and just the run of the mill... When things turn pear shaped we assign blame and because we can't usually point the finger and say "it was your fault" we internalize and blame ourselves... Because we are human... Bet IT geeks don't have this problem... Its simple…
It is because we are human…
It is as simple as that.
When things are good we see them as normal and just the run of the mill…
When things turn pear shaped we assign blame and because we can’t usually point the finger and say “it was your fault” we internalize and blame ourselves…
Because we are human…
Bet IT geeks don’t have this problem…

]]> by: amanda http://www.aboutanurse.com/2008/07/the-killer-question.html#comment-80025 Tue, 08 Jul 2008 00:10:01 +0000 http://www.aboutanurse.com/2008/07/the-killer-question.html#comment-80025 May... your writing is so touching. I really enjoy your posts. They always challenge me to really think about things.... And to ALL of you.... As both a lifelong patient (chronic illness since age 5) and a new nurse (BSN-RN in progress!), I can assure all of you beautiful nurses from the bottom of my heart that all, YES, ALL of you make a difference. You know who you are... those of you who smile, who put your hand on my arm when you know I'm in pain, you who are running like crazy from room to room but still check in just to see if I need anything. Sometimes all it takes is knowing I can trust you when you say "I'll be with you the whole time," or when you offer to bring me more juice when I don't have the strength to get up. And other times?? Sometimes it's just that tiny little glimmer in your eyes... I don't think you can see it, but we can. The longer you're a patient, the easier you can recognize it. It separates fear from trust, safety from danger, comfort from distress. It's enough to make us fight to keep our guards up or realize we can truly trust our lives with you. It's a symbol of hope. It's a whole of caring and yet a sense of precision. It's a blend of so many things.... we patients, we just know. And when we see it in action? It makes us wish you could be our nurse forever. Seriously. So thank you. All of you. You all are doing what I believe is the hardest job in the world when done right. You have quick, wise minds, amazing intuition, stores of strength, and enough compassion to hold the world in your arms. I'm humbled and honored to be joining this profession, because it's not a profession. It's a lifestyle, a calling, and an art, and I don't believe it should be taken any lighter than that. You all deserve compliments, but remember... sometimes for people in such sick conditions, in so much pain, under so many medications, a smile from them should be enough to make your day. May… your writing is so touching. I really enjoy your posts. They always challenge me to really think about things….

And to ALL of you….

As both a lifelong patient (chronic illness since age 5) and a new nurse (BSN-RN in progress!), I can assure all of you beautiful nurses from the bottom of my heart that all, YES, ALL of you make a difference. You know who you are… those of you who smile, who put your hand on my arm when you know I’m in pain, you who are running like crazy from room to room but still check in just to see if I need anything. Sometimes all it takes is knowing I can trust you when you say “I’ll be with you the whole time,” or when you offer to bring me more juice when I don’t have the strength to get up.

And other times??

Sometimes it’s just that tiny little glimmer in your eyes… I don’t think you can see it, but we can. The longer you’re a patient, the easier you can recognize it. It separates fear from trust, safety from danger, comfort from distress. It’s enough to make us fight to keep our guards up or realize we can truly trust our lives with you. It’s a symbol of hope. It’s a whole of caring and yet a sense of precision. It’s a blend of so many things…. we patients, we just know. And when we see it in action? It makes us wish you could be our nurse forever. Seriously.

So thank you. All of you. You all are doing what I believe is the hardest job in the world when done right. You have quick, wise minds, amazing intuition, stores of strength, and enough compassion to hold the world in your arms.

I’m humbled and honored to be joining this profession, because it’s not a profession. It’s a lifestyle, a calling, and an art, and I don’t believe it should be taken any lighter than that.

You all deserve compliments, but remember… sometimes for people in such sick conditions, in so much pain, under so many medications, a smile from them should be enough to make your day.

]]> by: it's fun to bank http://www.aboutanurse.com/2008/07/the-killer-question.html#comment-80004 Mon, 07 Jul 2008 17:51:27 +0000 http://www.aboutanurse.com/2008/07/the-killer-question.html#comment-80004 This post really hit's the nail on the head when it comes to patients dying. I recently had my first patient pass away as the nurse in charge- being the only qualified on duty. She was old and DNR but I still couldn't sleep that morning worried that I had done something wrong. Silly I know, but I waited for the phone to ring telling me of a mistake I had made. You really capture the emotion, great post. This post really hit’s the nail on the head when it comes to patients dying. I recently had my first patient pass away as the nurse in charge- being the only qualified on duty. She was old and DNR but I still couldn’t sleep that morning worried that I had done something wrong. Silly I know, but I waited for the phone to ring telling me of a mistake I had made.

You really capture the emotion, great post.

]]> by: RehabRN http://www.aboutanurse.com/2008/07/the-killer-question.html#comment-80000 Mon, 07 Jul 2008 16:18:12 +0000 http://www.aboutanurse.com/2008/07/the-killer-question.html#comment-80000 May, If you can't hug, go with the pat on the arm or some other touch that is appropriate. Not everyone is a hugger, so don't worry. I have worried about one of my patients who died not long after I cared for her. Just thinking about it makes me go over in my mind...did I do enough at the right times and will the family sue me? Yes, it's scary because those people who think you don't do enough, may just want to do that to get some "justice" or feeling of relief. Thankfully, I know my patient's family liked me, because my patient did, and they were just so happy that she did not suffer. On the gratitude part, yes, it's a nursey thing to say, "Aw shucks, I didn't do anything." but truthfully, we do. I think a more appropriate response when we get compliments and do a great job is "Thank you." If you want to tell the family, etc., that you liked their patient and they worked really hard, I do that, too. One of my grade school teachers told me never to discount a compliment. If you get one, you've earned it. May,

If you can’t hug, go with the pat on the arm or some other touch that is appropriate. Not everyone is a hugger, so don’t worry.

I have worried about one of my patients who died not long after I cared for her. Just thinking about it makes me go over in my mind…did I do enough at the right times and will the family sue me? Yes, it’s scary because those people who think you don’t do enough, may just want to do that to get some “justice” or feeling of relief. Thankfully, I know my patient’s family liked me, because my patient did, and they were just so happy that she did not suffer.

On the gratitude part, yes, it’s a nursey thing to say, “Aw shucks, I didn’t do anything.” but truthfully, we do.

I think a more appropriate response when we get compliments and do a great job is “Thank you.” If you want to tell the family, etc., that you liked their patient and they worked really hard, I do that, too.

One of my grade school teachers told me never to discount a compliment. If you get one, you’ve earned it.

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