three nine
this is not a complaint. just a statement.
my back hurt when i helped, twice, with our 518 pounds patient a few nights ago. the six of us, to place the bedpan underneath her, and the six of us to take it out and clean her.
in all honesty, i do not hate morbidly obese patients. i have two very specific feelings everytime i help them or take care of them myself. the first is sadness, the second is fear, never hatred. sadness because i cannot imagine how these patients live their lives productively and independently. fear because what if i continue to fail in my weight loss efforts, never lose that extra 40 pounds, and i end up being one of them, dependent and embarassed, because of my weight?
she was pleasant and very appreciative, but as we wipe our sweat after helping her, words were not needed to express her shame. as she thanked us profusely, looking away embarassed, i just wanted to hug her.
i am not being overly dramatic. i don’t know why i am not immuned from falling into one of my ponder moments everytime i encounter patients like her, considering i see them quite often. i think it makes my job harder, that i always go home feeling heavy after a shift like that, and it doesn’t make matters easier when i finally notice that my back hurts.
so much for work. this is not supposed to be a post of whine.
anyway, last saturday, i turned 39. when i was a teenager, i thought of people who were 39 as people who were really really ancient and were supposed to be displayed in a museum. well, look who’s talking now.
my coworkers thought i was being sarcastic when they greeted me and i answered: “one more year and my life will begin!” i don’t know if i am repressing depressive thoughts because i am growing old, but i do look forward to turning 40 next year just to see if that old line “life begins at 40″ is true. they said my optimism is sickening because i am happily ignoring the fact that that line is totally untrue, and the real deal is “it’s all downhill from 40″.
i don’t know, i’ve always been a “the glass is half full” kind of gal. which reminds me…sincere thanks to those who expressed positive comments on my fictional stories. in my dream i am a writer. too bad i always wake up
okay, i’m off to have a massage, pamper my old creaking bones, rejuvenate my battered body. you’ll agree with me when i say i totally deserve it, right?
Nursing Scrubs
Agreed.
Comment by Kelly — August 19, 2008 @ 6:33 pm
Belated Happy Birthday! Today, we celebrated my husband’s birthday, too. We are joining “life” in 2 years. I/we can relate to the feeling of getting old. This year, before I turned 37, I bought this book, “How Not to Look Old,” not because I really look old, but I sure did feel like it.
I have just joined this 8-week fitness challenge at work. Do you have something like that in your hospital? I’m joining not to lose weight. I’m done with weight loss. I’ve lost 15 pounds, but I still need help/pushing to exercise. I am abdominally challenged.
Well, you’re another year older, and another year wiser, May. Enjoy the good part of your life including that well-deserved massage.
Comment by Karin, RN — August 19, 2008 @ 8:04 pm
belated happy birthday!
Comment by Rygel — August 19, 2008 @ 9:43 pm
Reaching the fourth decade of life doesn’t signal a downward trend, but I think it makes one ponder a few things that may not have popped up on the radar before. I am in my mid forties and I do notice some changes, but the big thing that I ponder quite often is how long will I be a clinical nurse?
That seems to be the big question for me and many of my colleagues. Some of us want to transcend to the 9-5 group while others are happy to stay at the bedside but their pace is clearly much slower (5th decade folks). In any event welcome to what I think is a great time (40’s).
Comment by Mike — August 20, 2008 @ 2:37 am
15 years ago, I wondered the same thing and I’m happy to tell you ADULT life really does begin at 40! I’m with Mike, though — you do start to think about things and re-prioritize. It’s an amazing time of life and I’m much more satisfied and in tune with myself now than I was at 30. (don’t worry about the extra 40 pounds — you can easily lose a pound a week and when you hit the big 4-0, you’ll be where you want. And if you aren’t, you’ll still be May!)
Comment by Candy — August 20, 2008 @ 7:42 am
I totally agree with Candy, your perspective changes for the better as time passes.
Comment by beth — August 20, 2008 @ 7:46 am
happy birthday! hope u had a great one! *virtual huggys to the rn who kept on inspiring. more to come!
Comment by ninyakin — August 20, 2008 @ 9:21 am
May:
Happy birthday to you! By the end of this year, I will turn 40, so I’ll tell you how it goes.
At 38, I graduated from nursing school. I wasn’t the oldest in my class (she was 51) but somedays I surely felt like an old lady! I thought that was my midlife crisis, but it seems like I’ve had one every 3-5 years since I turned 30, so it’s old hat now!
I love the age I am and I’m just going to enjoy it no matter what. Yeah, the joints may creak and pop, but I’m gonna keep on rollin’!
I hope you enjoy your year of being 39! (or 19 for the 20th time…however you spin it! ;->)
Comment by RehabRN — August 20, 2008 @ 1:39 pm
Happy Birthday!
You demonstrate a lot of compassion and not everyone is compassionate toward morbidly obese people. You treated her with dignity and respect…good for you. i so hope your back feels better.
I loved my forties. I didn’t start to notice my age physically until I was 51 (I’m 53) but that was only because of the urology issues. They have been an up and down roller coaster ride.
I used to think people married 25 years were old and now that we will be married 33…I don’t think so.
U believe you are as old as you act. A positive attitude and sense of humor goes a long way!
Comment by SeaSpray — August 20, 2008 @ 10:00 pm
Happy Birthday!
Life begins at 40 & 50 & 60, etc.
Comment by Barbara K. — August 21, 2008 @ 8:11 am
I’m with Barbara K. Having experienced all of them, I can assure you that life does begin at 40, 50 and 60, and I’m getting ready for it to begin again at 70.
(But I must say, I envy you — 39 with all those great years ahead of you. Enjoy them, kid.)
Comment by Sid Leavitt — August 21, 2008 @ 4:33 pm
Older is better.
Comment by shrimplate — August 22, 2008 @ 9:02 am
i owe you a facial, may!
Comment by Laura — August 28, 2008 @ 11:10 am
HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY, MAY!!!
I turned 39 last June. Of course, I want to obsess about being 39, but how can I when I see people older than me living their lives to the fullest?
My mother turned 65 last month and is as sassy as ever. She looks 45 (it’s those Filipino genes)! When she golfs, she wears her hair in pigtails (it’s so cute). When she ballroom dances (especially Latin), she wears a short and sexy dress with sparkly shoes. Bottom line is, she does what makes HER happy. There is no “have to” for her when it comes to being age 65 other than taking care of herself.
Same goes for my girlfriends at work who are in their early 50’s. They just ooze youth and sassiness. They aren’t embarrassed to have fun and are always leading the charge.
May, you are the author of your own story. Leave the feeling-sorry-about-getting-older tale to someone else. :0)
Cheers!!!
M.
P.S. Celebrate 40 with me next year! South Beach Miami girls trip? Hee hee
Comment by unsinkablemb — August 28, 2008 @ 7:26 pm
I turned 40 last year, and I have to say it is fabulous. I had a long-desired hysterectomy this summer, am making plans to go back to school to finish a degree I started years ago, have a wonderful family, and although I know I am officially in mid-life, I have 100% confidence that with God’s help, the second half is going to be FAR better than the first. I pray the same for you.
Comment by lindsey kate — August 29, 2008 @ 5:32 pm