wat?
when patients and their family members assume i don’t speak or understand english, it doesn’t bother me. i am aware that not everybody knows english is sort of our second language.
however, when they assume i am extremely stupid based on their initial assumption that i don’t speak or understand english, that is a totally different story. at first it offends me, then, it annoys me. that is because, yes, i have moments of stupidity, but i refuse to accept the “extremely stupid” label all the time.
especially when after they talk to me, they hear me answer their questions back in a clear, straightforward way that implies i happen to understand and speak their language pretty well, and they still talk to me VERY VERY slowly and pronounce every single word in such a condescending tone, even a kindergarten will notice the hints of obvious sarcasm and ridicule.
i have insecurities. i am not unaware of that. i do not expect other people to feed my ego like it is their business. i just hate it when they consciously do things to step on it like they think they are entitled to.
i remember one patient a couple of years ago, who after having an ET tube out, still had that hoarse, inaudible voice when he spoke. he asked me to change his diaper, and when i didn’t hear him clearly at first and asked him to please say what he said again, he said : D-I-A-P-E-R. he spelled it like i was this little girl with a big “STUPID” sign on my forehead. he then continued by asking “diaper, you know, this one, (pointing to the one he was wearing) don’t have this where you came from?”
in retrospect, this incident wouldn’t have bothered me, if he was simply trying to find out if the philippines was that remote that its citizens were yet to lay our eyes on a disposable diaper. i understand honest ignorance like that, because i am not well informed about other countries too. thing was, he had that look and that smirk, concluded with that laugh and head shaking that said it all.
it’s the first day of august, and i know i shouldn’t start it with ranting, i know that. i have to do it though, because taking care of my patient for two nights, and maintaining my composure and professionalism while he and his significant other treated me like some kind of a clueless moron just because i have an accent nearly drained me dry. i won’t elaborate on the encounters because frankly, the emotions i attached to it are very negative, and are still very raw. i felt insulted by the way they treated me. i’ll just leave it at that.
i hate it that i am so idealistic/unrealistic in expecting that patients are supposed to appreciate their nurses, no matter where they come from, as long as they are doing their job. the sad truth is, sometimes, doing one’s job, and even going the unexpected extra mile is still not enough.
sometimes, a better life because of a better pay is overrated. sometimes, it feels like it is not worth it. especially when you get treated like that. it sounds melodramatic, but honestly, sometimes, it sucks to work in another country, when you can work in your own and take care of sick people who speak your own language and share your skin color. it’s not literally easier, it’s just less complicated. but of course, i’ll also admit that going home and working with less complications (and getting paid $200/month) when one has two kids to take care of is not a very smart move. that’s why i choose to stay.
don’t get me wrong, this is not everyday. i blame no one but myself. i wasn’t forced at gunpoint to come here. i take full responsibility in my decision to see and experience a greener pasture so to speak. i know this decision has consequences. i am supposed to face those consequences like a grown up and shut up.
i know that. i am just in a whining mood. i am not complaining, acting like a certified ingrate. what this is is a therapeutic early morning rant after two crappy nights at work. i indulged in venting to feel better.
to those who understand, my sincere thanks.


Thank you for writing this blog. I appreciate everything you write, whether it is philosophical or it is venting. I understand your anger and you deserve to be treated with respect. I am sorry that those two folks treated you that way.
I don’t know if it would make you feel better, but often people will treat you as if you are stupid and completely ignorant no matter what your accent, native country, or skin color. I can totally see someone saying those exact same things you quoted to a white nurse born in California or the Midwest who didn’t hear him the first time. It probably doesn’t happen as often, but it still happens a fair bit. I hope your week improves.
Julia
Comment by julia — August 1, 2008 @ 9:05 am
Hi May,like Julia I believe that morons everywhere will be condescending a$$es no matter where you’re from. They can rag on someone for being overweight,older,younger,etc.People just don’t have the respect for others,even professionals,that they used to.
Sorry you had a bad week.
Comment by Buttercuprn — August 1, 2008 @ 9:46 am
I read your post and I can totally feel your pain. English is my second language. I am a native french speaker,but to the average American I look like I am from South America because of my hair color and my olive skin. The first thing people ask me is what other languages I speak…But anyway, I have a hard time when people use a certain tone of their voice to make sure I understand what they are saying…as if I was a tourist trying to find my way in the States…I have been living in the States for the last 11 years now. I have been lucky to only encounter a few of those “ignorant” people so far. It is hurtful. But it is always in the back of my head. I totally hear you.
Comment by Souad — August 1, 2008 @ 10:15 am
I read your post and I totally understand how you feel.
I was born and raised in New Mexico. I have worked in El Paso, Tx. and other parts of NM. I do not speak spanish. I have gotten rude comments and questions as to why I do not speak Spanish. Sometimes I have walked into a room and have been told in broken english that this patient does not want a “white” nurse. It should not matter what color or race we are, we choose to be a nurse because most of us are very caring and are proud to be nurses. I could tell you many stories, and many times I have gotten my feelings hurt, for just trying to do my job and do it well.
Comment by Glynda — August 1, 2008 @ 8:07 pm
Oh well, he doesn’t have room to speak. He is the one with an ET Tube and a diaper/ brief.
Comment by alwaysmrsghost — August 1, 2008 @ 8:47 pm
Hey, kabayan. Being from the Philippines myself, I totally understand how you feel. I had been treated like that myself, and yes, it is totally okay to complain about it. When I get patients like this, and I am glad it hasn’t happened often, I ask, for the next day not to be given the same assignment. I have the right not to be disrespected.
I hope tomorrow and the next days will be better for you.
Comment by Karin, RN — August 1, 2008 @ 10:06 pm
It is very hurtful, I don’t know why people do this. But I agree with the previous comments, that there are ignorant and obnoxious people that will look down on others no matter what.
Comment by annemiek — August 2, 2008 @ 6:02 am
wat? » about a nurse
when patients and their family members assume i don’t speak or understand english, it doesn’t bother me. i am aware that not everybody knows english is sort of our second language. however, when they assume i am extremely stupid based on their initi…
Trackback by healthcaretoday.com — August 2, 2008 @ 7:48 am
It’s always amazed me that people who speak only one language look down on those speaking a second language.
And your English is just fine, May. Your weblog proves it.
Comment by Sid Leavitt — August 2, 2008 @ 7:49 am
May,
I speak English and I gotta tell ya, you speak it better than me I’m sure. I read your blog and it’s so articulate and I think..WOW, that was pretty great! Pay no attention to those *people* who are small minded. Just don’t. I’d like to call ‘em idiots but that would be mean of me and well, you and I both know that’s not in me to be mean. *cough*
creeps.
Comment by kimmyk — August 4, 2008 @ 3:10 pm
i, too, hope to get to greener pastures soon.
am doing fine. just couldn’t get motivated to return to the blogworld. but am back
Comment by Rygel — August 5, 2008 @ 2:28 pm
I am so sorry that happened to you May. You write in English wonderfully, and I wouldn’t have even guessed it might not be the first language you speak or learned.
I’ve spent my life so far growing up in a very non-multicultural society and because of that I haven’t been exposed to a lot of other people who speak different languages, or have accents. I have an awful time distinguishing what people with accents are saying. However, whenever a situation like that would come up in the coffee shop I worked at, I was absolutely horrified and embarrassed to make them repeat themselves. I felt awful every single time.
You are most definitely not stupid, and perhaps (if it doesn’t get you in trouble) defend yourself if a patient ever does that again. If they start spelling at you, after you just couldn’t hear them, tell them “I’m sorry for making you repeat yourself, I just couldn’t hear you,” or something. Make them feel stupid.
Comment by Eva — August 5, 2008 @ 6:42 pm
Also, thank you so very much for linking me May, I really appreciate it.
Comment by Eva — August 5, 2008 @ 6:43 pm
I have a nose piercing and blue hair and that gets some morons backs up…
And my attitude is that if they don’t want the best nurse on the ward than turn me away…
I speak perfect English…
Well, as well as anyone in my country does…
It not exactly the Queens English, full of colloquialisms but thats how we all speak.
If patients have a problem with you its their problem…
Not yours.
As long as you provide the best level of care you can under the circumstances they can all go leap…
Tomorrow will be a better day…
And if its not random acts of violence, whilst not socially acceptable, are a cathartic way to destress any situation.
A mental smack in the throat is the best…
You don’t have to actually do it but the mental picture will give you hours of renewed energy.
Cheers
Comment by Kj — August 6, 2008 @ 6:40 pm
I believe that no matter the “accent” we all deserve respect. So, I’m sorry you didn’t get it. Just remember that you deserve it no matter!
Comment by Jenny — August 6, 2008 @ 6:52 pm
That’s sad. Sorry this kind of crap happens to you. It’s ironic that the people who think you are dumb are the dumbest ones of all.
MJ
Comment by Mother Jones, RN — August 7, 2008 @ 4:21 am
[…] thank you all for your kind words. […]
Pingback by there’s this guy » about a nurse — August 7, 2008 @ 3:08 pm
I can’t stand it when people are lazy like that. It’s worse in a medical situation where a patient is depending upon others.
Comment by Awake In Rochester — August 9, 2008 @ 11:25 am
omg.
this post is so enlightening.
I am also a nurse and a Filipino.
I didn’t know this scenario happens, since it is well known that most Filipinos speak english well(right?). and this is really hurtful especially to us nurses who just want to render nursing care with the best that we could, and in return what we get are snide remarks. aww. I emphatize. I guess nursing really is a service. Some people just don’t know how to appreciate nurses but its all part of the job, i guess.
Gustong gusto ko yung blog mo and i hope you’d visit mine too. take care always and God Bless you.
Comment by Heniii — August 11, 2008 @ 4:36 am