it’s not just about me
so, displacement.
i get it. sick people are usually sweet, nice people who only get to show their ugly side when they are in the hospital, because they can’t help it. when they are dependent on others, they lose control of themselves, their lives, and then they snap.
i get it. i am one hundred percent sure i will go through something very similar if i end up being chronically sick with something that requires me to be at the mercy of people i don’t know, who sometimes act like they don’t care, and sadly, sometimes act like it’s my fault i have an autoimmune disease or something.
i get it. sick people are tired of healthcare people poking, touching, asking, ordering, disturbing them like they have no feelings.
this things are not new to me, and are not unexpected.
i understand that illness and the stress that goes with it blur one’s usual reasonable mind. when you are aching all over and are worried sick that you might lose your life and your all very soon, it is natural to think that most, if not all of the people in the hospital are either a threat, or a nagging piece of calloused human being who go through their responsibilities without any hint of empathy. it is easy for patients to generalize and label every hospitalpersonnel to be the villains of their lives, just because they are the ones who are available to be blamed. i get all that.
i realized that my confusion is based on a selfish sense of entitlement. somehow, despite all the things that patients suffer while they are in the hospital i have often assumed that when they see nurses, they will see people who, for once, are their allies, not their enemies.
it’s logical that they don’t like some of their doctors because they feel like they withhold pain meds, they order unnecessary tests, they come at the most unholy hours and ask the same stupid questions, they don’t really listen. it’s logical that they hate the lab people because they cause them pain. it’s logical that the hate the dietitians because they think the food is crappy. it’s logical that they hate the PTs because they think they force them to do physical activities that they’re still too weak to do. it’s logical that they hate….you get the drift.
but nurses? why hate us? in the midst of chaos, of pain, of goos, and blood, we are the ones who keep patients comfortable and happy. we give even when there is no more to give, we listen, we advocate…you get the drift.
i just thought that that fact separates us from all the “annoying” people in the hospital. i just thought i can just say to every rude patient, “i know, they are all uncaring here, you can hate them all, but spare me, i am an angel, don’t you see?”
i just thought that with the things i especially do in attempts to make patients feel comfortable even when they are in a very uncomfortable situation makes me stand out among the rest, and excludes me from patients’ natural responses to illness.
thank you for your comments. it made me realize i was wrong, and that it was arrogant of me to assume that just because i try to do my job well, i will be treated differently.
Nursing Scrubs
There you go, May!
We get hurt, we have hunger for acknowledgement, we feel taken advantage with sometimes . . . we are just human. I admire nurses who try to do their best for their patients regardless.
Comment by Karin, RN — September 25, 2008 @ 4:14 pm
it only takes one bad nurse to tarnish a patients opinion of all the staff….
It doesn’t matter to the patient that you just buried your dog and the cat threw up all over your uniform after you had locked the door on the way to work….
It doesn’t matter to the patient that you are human…
You wear the uniform, you are therefore expected to be a machine with no problems other than theirs…
and they shall be fixed at once…
And I have even found myself being THAT patient more than once to my utter disgust….
I hated myself for it, but I have a better understanding of why patients behave the way they do….
So now I am the “Nursinator”… the machine that is sweet and prompt and usually (not always) pleasant as all hell so that the patient isn’t tainted against all staff because of my behavior…
Doesn’t always work coz I’m HUMAN..
I have bad days…
Weeks…
Months if I’m working ED…
But I try…
Maybe not today thou..
Long shift, short change…
In ED…
great…
so much to look forward to.
Comment by Kj — September 25, 2008 @ 4:35 pm
maybe patients just think of hospitals the same way they think of hotels… when they check in, they’re every whim should be attended to.
and for some, they can’t accept the fact that their illness is their fault… not all, but most of the lifestyle-related illness… which are usually the chronic ones.
Comment by rygel — September 26, 2008 @ 2:06 am
I can relate. There are rooms that I just dread going into because the patient is such a bear.
It’s said that sometimes patients lash out at their loved ones because they are close to them. Maybe patients lash out at nurses for the same reason.
Comment by Awake In Rochester — September 26, 2008 @ 8:41 pm
wonderful issue to bring up may; it brought out the long time lurker in me.
i think that since as nurses we are trained to be “more human” than say, physicians who spend little time with a patient, we become a patient’s only outlet to “rail against the system”. being a hospital does suck; patients are away from family, away from normalcy and feeling awful.
it doesn’t give them the right to be awful to us, but to paraphrase what someone said in the previous post: once they upset us, they own us. in these cases, it’s good to distance yourself from the patient and put up that cool exterior that is basically against everything we’re taught. you can’t win this fight. just do your 12 hours, give the best care you can and punch out at the end of the night.
Comment by cadie — September 29, 2008 @ 12:13 pm
I am not a nurse, but I have great respect for them.
Last week a friend of mine was over at my house and she said, “if I didn’t have flat feet I’d be working in the medical profession because I want to help people.”
I replied, “oh, yes, all my nurses were absolute angels” (I had a baby eight weeks ago).
She looked at me strangely and said, “I meant I would be a doctor.”
I didn’t mean to offend her at all. It’s just that she said she wanted to help people so I assumed she meant nursing.
I guess I think of doctors as the advice-givers and the nurses as the care-givers.
I’m sorry that patients treat you badly sometimes.
Comment by Louisa — September 30, 2008 @ 12:51 pm
I get it. It’s a thankless job. That’s why I don’t expect much good in return. I go in expecting my patient to be a bear. When I am assigned a nice, grateful patient, I am most pleasantly surprised.
Still, I care for my patients, grouchy, difficult ones and all. It’s my God-given responsibility to do the best I can to help whoever is in my care.
God, give me more grace.
Comment by mc — October 10, 2008 @ 11:36 am
FEMALE NURSES ARE PERVERTS AND UNPROFESSIONAL. FEMALE NURSES GROPE UNCONSCIOUS MALE PATIENTS!
Comment by MMC — October 11, 2008 @ 8:23 am
[…] and, i got this comment on one of my previous posts: “FEMALE NURSES ARE PERVERTS AND UNPROFESSIONAL. FEMALE NURSES GROPE UNCONSCIOUS MALE PATIENTS.” […]
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