rude, not nude
i really need to hear an explanation for this. i do not understand it and i’ve been racking my little brain thinking of reasons, but i can’t come up with anything logical.
my burning question: why is it that SOME patients give nurses THE attitude?
it doesn’t make sense.
we are the ones who give patients everything that they need while they are in the hospital. from that little kleenex box, the emesis basin, the commode, the new gown, the extra pillow, the back rub, crackers juice. we change the tv channel, empty the bed pan, empty the urinal, clean dentures, give meds, ask the docs to increase meds, ask the docs to advance diet, ask the docs to talk to their family members, take the vitals to make sure everything is fine, carry out doctors’ orders to facilitate healing and discharge. just as a matter of fact, the list of things we do for the patients is almost endless.
so why the attitude?
i know you cannot call us your friends, but clearly, we are not your enemy. you don’t even have to be nice to us, that is probably asking too much. but is it too much to ask for at least a good amount of civility? just plain and simple.
i just don’t get it. is it because you see us do the dirty job, you automatically think we are lower class professionals and do not deserve the same respect you give your doctors? if you act like you don’t need us and you are better off without us, what made you think that? what?
WHAT IS IT?
_____________________
i apologize for the nonsensical post title.
blame it on my 5 year old’s homework, which has something to do with rhymes.


Although it’s easy to write this off to “entitlement mentality” (if i can’t pay for it, it’s free), I think this phenomenon goes deeper than that…
I’m probably the least experienced RN reading this blog, but my experience in clinicals hammered into me the importance of the big “C”….”Control”.
When people feel like they are not in control of what happens to them, they try to manifest control however they can, even if it’s counterproductive.
My early introduction to this was in a group home for adults with autism and mental retardation. Virtually every aspect of control over their own lives had been stripped away, and their behavior made a lot more sense when approached with that understanding.
I used to joke, while bartending, that regular people under the influence of alcohol exhibited many behavior traits similar to those of my former clients, and there was a lot of truth to this. A lot of the same behavioral management techniques applied. As control decreases, behavioral forces counterbalance.
I saw a lot of people wash out of that 10 dollar an hour job in the group home, and the thing that kept me in it when so many other people got stressed out and left was the understanding that their behavior had an explanation. It was solvable, and by approaching it openly it could be changed.
It didn’t always work, of course, but every time I walked out through that door, I knew I did the best job I could, and I knew that everything I did improved their quality of life.
Comment by PM, RN — September 22, 2008 @ 8:12 pm
Oh, May. Seems like you had one bad night among the last 3 nights, huh?
Comment by Karin, RN — September 22, 2008 @ 8:38 pm
I am still a student and have no nursing experience, but I do have a lot of experience in dealing with my mother when she was in the hospital. She was normally a very compliant patient, easy going and happy to do as asked (when the chemo/radiation would allow) but a few times she got downright mean and bossy. I asked her what was going on she’d reply with I just want to be left alone, I’m tired of them poking and prodding and seeing me naked, I want them to know what it feels like to be ordered around. Or something similar. Translated it meant she was frustrated, exhausted, in her mind she felt marginalized (even though she admitted the nurses never did that), had no control over what happened to her, and had little to no other outlet. So she turned into a nasty mean woman. Usually it only lasted for a short time, but mom was pretty good at regaining her perspective and was naturally cheerful. Put a naturally grumpy and socially myopic person in a similar situation and they probably would work hard to make everyone around them miserable.
Comment by Enjay — September 22, 2008 @ 9:42 pm
I had a friend who is normally cheerful, and very nice. She has a long history of Crohn’s disease. Most of her life she has been in pain, and in & out of hospitals. One time she was in the hospital for 3 months, and almost died due to complications (peritonitis?). She said that she hated being in the hospital, and hated everything about it including the doctors & nurses. She was in terrible pain, and she just wanted to be home with her two small children and husband. She said that normally should would treat the hospital staff well, but just hated being there, was miserable, and wanted desperately to go home.
Comment by Awake In Rochester — September 23, 2008 @ 2:32 am
i’ve always asked that question, too. i still don’t know the answer
Comment by Rygel — September 23, 2008 @ 3:03 am
ah. displacement.
i haven’t practice in about 2 years now, but i still know the feeling.
Comment by lei — September 23, 2008 @ 3:54 am
This is a great blog with lots of great experiences and comments around the stress of nursing - one of the huge factors contributing to the nursing crisis and the cycle of early departures from the profession. As such, I would like to make folks aware of a new nurse information and advocacy website/resource - www.nursetogether.com. The site specifically deals with nurse lifestyle, career and professional development, with lots of information from industry experts. There’s no charge to join and there are doznes of great articles on dealing with stress like this: http://www.nursetogether.com/tabid/100/itemid/277/Reduce-Your-Stress-Through-Meditation.aspx. Hope this helps you!
Comment by Steve C — September 23, 2008 @ 10:02 am
i have a lot to look forward to. it’s ok tho, you’re preparing me. that’s good. thanks.
Comment by esther — September 24, 2008 @ 12:00 am
I checked out Nursetogether.com and found a ton of great articles covering stress management, work/like balance, and articles about things I go through on a daily basis. In regards to the above comments on rude patients, I found an article on nursetogether called - “How to Keep Your Sanity When Dealing With Difficult Patients”. You guys should check it out. Good article, unique site. http://www.nursetogether.com/tabid/102/itemid/69/Impatient-Patients—How-to-Keep-Your-Sanity-When.aspx
Comment by Danielle — September 24, 2008 @ 7:48 am
Ah, May, don’t you just love the control freaks?
Hospitals do that to people. I do my thing and walk away. Most of the nice people will eventually apologize for their nasty behavior. The real pains will not.
SCI patients push my buttons every day. I just remember to look at my watch and realize, I’m not stuck on my unit 24 hours a day like they are. I will go home and I will escape.
That gives me a nice, warm fuzzy…and my OWN sense of control. I also remember that phrase, “He (or she) who angers you, owns you.” I enjoy the self-ownership plan myself, and I don’t plan on ceding control to anyone anytime soon on purpose!
Comment by RehabRN — September 25, 2008 @ 8:50 am
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Pingback by it’s not just about me » about a nurse — September 25, 2008 @ 3:35 pm
“Yeah, I get the picture, being in the hospital sucks. I know. I work here. Tell you what, why don’t you kick back and relax for a bit while I go get something to try to help. Sure, there’s a lot more to life than just throwing medications at people, but that’s pretty much what I do for a living. So let me.”
Then patient looks at shrimplate in puzzled manner as shrimplate goes to get the morphine and ativan. An hour later everything’s copacetic.
Comment by shrimplate — September 27, 2008 @ 7:26 am
Hi! mobic side effect
Comment by easepleFlaria — October 21, 2008 @ 5:22 am