October, 2008 Archive

first of all, THANK YOU!

your comments and private emails made me search for reliable answers, and now i know for a FACT that i CAN vote. yay! one more vote for obama!

i probably shouldn’t feel this way, but i do. it is embarassing, but i admit i am ashamed of my ignorance. instead of finding the truth for myself, i just trusted people at work and accepted their declaration of knowledge by convincing me i can’t vote. there must be reasons why they told me that, but it is not an acceptable excuse for me to just accept unverified informations, especially in this case where the fact is clearly verifiable.

anyway, all’s well that ends well. on november 4, trust me, i will be at the voting place bright and early.

it doesn’t matter if my husband thinks my vote doesn’t count. yeah, he’s one of those people who believe there is really no point in voting since there are powers behind it all that already know who will win, and all these election process is just a ridiculous show. this somewhat ridiculous idea struck me as stupid at first until i shared it with other people and realized there are quite a few people around me who believe and feel the same way. well, we agree to disagree. fortunately, our disagreement on this issue has no negative impact on our marriage whatsoever. so, we’re all good.

second thing, my chronic headches. i had it since i was 16. i know, that sounds like an eternity ago. anyway, i would have this larger than life headaches at least once a week , or three times a week when i’m not very lucky.

i never saw a doctor for it because let’s face it, when your family just gets by with necessities like food and utility bills, a headache that doesn’t kill you is certainly not a case for alarm. “it could just be something that  makes you stronger”, as the saying goes. i don’t know if it made me stronger. i just know i became this person who can sometimes be defined as a woman with A headache. if you ask me, that’s not really good.

it wasn’t that bad when i was in college. it didn’t hit me that often, so i continued ignoring it. in the past three years though, i have been suffering. most of the times, it is the kind of headache where i literally feel my brain floating around some hollow space, and when i look down or move/shake my head, i can feel like my brain is falling or moving around violently inside my skull. sometimes, it’s the kind where i feel like my brain is being fried, after being marinated for so long in a combination of really strong vinegar,a lot of salt, and lots and lots of pepper.

i have ruled out caffeine or msg or tension or psychological or PMS or stress or lack of sleep as causes because it has happened so many times even when i am free from all those probable reasons.

i would take tylenol or advil round the clock. sometimes it helped, sometimes, those pills were just a waste of time. having no other symptom accompaying this annoying headache, i have stupidly convinced myself all these years that this is nothing but psychosomatic, and no, i didn’t wan’t to waste my time or that of the neurologist just to get it off my aching head.

recently however, it has become more frequent, and yes, more unbearable. so, thanks to those who read my twitter updates, i am finally going to see somebody. just to clear my head, and once and for all have peace in knowing this is nothing but a silly excuse to be mean to my husband. wish me luck in finding a good neurologist, okay?

again, my sincere thanks to ALL.
seriously, all of you are like my invisible but really good friends.

i can’t vote.

when i sent my registration form, i checked the box that said “decline to state”, stupidly thinking that it meant that was what i supposed to choose if i was still trying to figure out what party i agree with more than the other. only to find out what many of you already know now.

i think they had a deadline when i can change party, and i found out about a day or two before that, and didn’t get a chance to do it. but for those who want to know who i was going to vote for, even if it is actually pointless now, i was gonna vote for obama.

bummer. i know. thanks to all of you who took their time in sending me links to informations that helped me weigh in my decision. and at the same time, sorry for wasting your time by wasting my vote because of my ignorance.

moving along, but still on politics, i was surprised with the comments you posted on my last blog regarding a coworker who was “campaigning” to patients.

i realize now that it is culture thing, and i have to tell my fellow filipinos to put a tape over their mouths when it comes to politics. you see, back home, even in hospitals, everybody talks about politics no matter what. doctors talk about their politicall opinions to patients, to nurses to anybody. nurses do the same thing, patients do the same thing. everybody talks about who they will vote for and why, they talk about the candidates, and who they’re campaigning for, and it is no big deal. doctors, nurses, and even patients don’t find it inappropriate, because politics and talking about it is just part of the daily past time. of everybody.

although i don’t do it here, it’s not because i knew better than my fellow filipinos, and it was definitely not because i was aware that it was considered inappropriate. it was/is because here, i am always insecure of my lack of knowledge about political issues. that’s why i keep my mouth shut. i really want to thank you for taking your time to post comments and letting me know all this.

also, your comments made me realize that i may be causing similar negative reactions with my unsolicited humming/singing in patient’s rooms.

it has been my habit to hum/sing while getting things ready for let’s say a dressing change, while cleaning up my things, while straightening up sheets, etc. i will consciously try to stop doing this now, because i realized i never know if it is appropriate or not, and i don’t want to cause that kind of trouble, especially with patients.

anyway, the three nights short vacation was the kind of fun that blew our kids’ minds away. that is way more than enough for us. on our last day, we soaked on the hotel pool for hours, and my 5 year old blurted out “i’m gonna miss this place, i had SO MUCH fun!”, it almost made me cry. you know, that fact that kids can be so easily pleased at this age, one can’t help but get emotional sometimes.

he said he knew we needed to go back home so mommy and daddy can get back to work, and they can go back to school. it was okay with him. when i asked why, he said, he wants to go back to school because he wants to get a job. when asked why, he said so he can buy something he really wants. when asked what that something was, he seriously said “bubble gum!”

for a kid who was caught eating chewed gums stuck by who knows who under restaurant tables, you must realize that this noble idea of getting a job so he can buy his own fresh gum is indeed a defining moment.

with that, i rest my case.

i have heard a few stories from working three nights in a row. most of it fascinating, some of it sad.

C, the RN whose patient sort of complained because everytime she goes to his room, the nurse made sure she was clear about letting the patient know why barack obama should never ever be president.

when i joked to her the other night if she was campaiging in the other unit, she told me “yeah, i have to let everybody know not to vote for a baby killer!”

hhhhmmmmm….
everybody has an opinion about this, but really, is it okay/not okay to be all political while caring for a patient?

then there was P, the nurse who alledgedly planted a tiny kiss on a geriatric male patient’s cheek just to say goodbye.

everybody thought it was a little bit over the edge, that a kiss is too personal, and a hug is better. some say a hug and a kiss are both too personal, and a wave should be enough.

i don’t know what to say…
what do you think?

then, there was this written order on a patient with severe halitosis: “brush patient’s teeth” to which H, the assigned RN half jokingly said “why don’t they (meaning the doctors) brush HIS teeth?

in fairness to H (not only because i consider her my friend), i think she had the right to react that way. the patient in question is a male in his late 30s who has a behavior disorder secondary to a brain injury, after a vehicular accident.

by behavior disorder, i mean he is on four point restraint because he behaves very irrationally. i remember when i had him the first time, and he looked so sweet just all curled up in his bed like an unborn fetus. i reached out for his arm, so i can put the BP cuff, and in a split second, his fingers hit my arms and left two diagonal scratches that made me think in an instant: “man, i cannot do this anymore!”

in a nutshell, because of his brain injury, even when he doesn’t mean to, he behaves like an animal. he bites, spits, kicks, hits, growls. it is not safe to go near him when he is not sedated, enough reason why nobody was brave enough to give him oral care in the past week that he has been with us. 

since the docs will not sedate him just for a dose of tooth brushing, that written order was pretty much interpreted as unrealistic, and then, insulting. we all know they didn’t have to write that. thing is, it’s not like we didn’t try. although for them to write it, it proved that we didn’t try hard enough. oh well, we have to pick our battles sometimes.

i have to salute H though, because after ranting to us about the order, she ended up giving him the PRN Ativan next to the scheduled Haldol, she then held down the patient’s arms, and voila… forced oral care done, mission accomplished.

yay for good nurses like H!

this is getting too long, and i haven’t even started on the stories that made me sad.

anyway, we are going to legoland, and sea life aquarium. we’ll be staying in this hotel for three nights. not exactly what i wanted for a get away, because i would rather be pampered and get all romantic here, but honestly, i’m not complaining.

when you are a parent, time is of the essence. while the kids still want to join us, we’re excited and happy to join them. i’m sure the time will come when they’d rather be caught dead than spend a three night get away with their boring parents, so we’ll cherish this “now” moments now. besides, a get away is a get away, it doesn’t matter where.

i’m sure you have exciting things to look forward to…enjoy!

you know that crappy feeling you get when you thought something mean about somebody, and conclude you are such a bitch or an ass for thinking such hateful thoughts?

well, that was how i felt after i posted yesterday’s blog. i might have edited some of my thoughts about A, the pregnant RN who floated to us from neurosurgery unit, and refused ANY isolation patient, but i must admit, i did have quite a few of those umentionable thoughts.

anyway, your comments made me feel so much better. it made me realize it wasn’t so mean of me to think such ugly thoughts. i felt exactly the same. i mean, when i was pregnant with my first baby, i didn’t work till i was on the second trimester because i was paranoid about being exposed to ANYTHING. since that was my husband’s and my choice, we settled on a small, cheap apartment and lived simply, knowing that keeping my sanity out of work was more important than working for more money and at the same time being a pain to my coworkers .

that was my exact thought when A was giving us all a taste of her famous attitude. i thought to myself, “if you are extremely careful and scared of your baby’s condition, you could have asked to be transferred to modified work, or just not work at all, until you give birth”. thoughts that i immediately regretted because i am guilt stricken like that.

only, i found out when i came back last night, that A’s pregnancy hormones, which i used to excuse her condescending tones, were not really to blame for her attitude. it turns out that even when she wasn’t pregnant she’s always carried that attitude. it was the talk of the night, and honestly, it gave me relief.

then, YOUR comments. it is not expected that we should all be on the same page all the time, but we were/are on this one, and i won’t lie, it felt good.

thank you.